


Quelling The Tide

by WynnaPendragon



Category: Supernatural
Genre: F/M, Genderswap, Mpreg
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-10-09
Updated: 2009-12-28
Packaged: 2017-10-28 06:41:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 31,327
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/304875
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WynnaPendragon/pseuds/WynnaPendragon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>From behind, he heard the snide voice say,"If you refuse to be the vessel, we shall simply make one."</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Newark, Ohio

“Dude, just calm down, I’ll stop at Covrick Cup the minute I’m done with what I need to get at Wal-mart,” Dean rolled his eyes as he walked down the street. He needed air; Sam’s constant bitching was getting to him. I swear he’s got to have pms, Dean thought as he stepped into the superstore. By-passing the door greeter as usual, because you can never tell who the employee’s are really working for, he ducked his head and frowned, “So remind me again what you want?”

He could hear Sam sigh, “Dude. I want a triple large peppermint, nonfat white chocolate mocha, with whip. How hard is that to remember?”

“If you wanted something minty, why don’t you just squeeze some toothpaste in your coffee? Saves time.” He breathed through his nose in irritation as he walked rapidly over to sporting goods section. His eyes darted back and forth at the near-zombie like quality of the employees, he was starting to think that maybe there was something wrong in this town.

“By the way Sammy, did you find anything on this place?” He had to stop suddenly as a filled cart almost ran him over- the lady looked at him as if he called her a dirty word or something. He glared at her back as she zoomed to the cashier.

Sam snorted, “Not really much-oh.”

“Oh? What oh?”

“Um…” He could hear typing, and Sam breathing into the phone, which really irritated Dean. He hated talking to Sam while he was on the computer; he tended to completely forget he was on the phone the minute he found something interesting.

“Dude, seriously, look up porn on your own time.”

“Dean!”

“Sam!” He looked around, making sure he didn’t attract any attention from any passers-by. He ducked into what he thought was the toy section on his way to automotive, pausing in the aisle that had a bunch of toys with buttons to push. He couldn’t resist, but first- “Just look up whatever it is you are looking up and I’ll read it later, and before you say anything, I’ll get you your drink, you big ol’ girl.”

He hung up at Sam’s squawk, his chuckle fading as he turned around. He looked around and realized he walked into the baby section of the store. Apparently, this store just went through yet another re-model. He moved to walk out, when his eyes fell on a baby blue blanket with a little angel patch in the corner. He smirked, and reached out to touch the soft fleece.

He couldn’t explain the sudden tightness in his throat, or the prickling of his eyes, or the tension in his chest. All he knew was that he missed the hell out of the little boy in Indiana, Benjamin Isaac Braeden. He wished so badly that the little boy was his- they were so similar!- reminding Dean of his childhood self without the constant hardships. He wished that he had more time with him, he wished that Ben was his, he wished-

He wished.

Wishing wasn’t going to do a damn thing for him, he was a Winchester and he firmly believed his family was cursed. Oh, it was all well and good to fall in love, hearts and puppy-dogs if you have kids, but what happens to them when you are ripped to pieces by a demon?

Or decide to make deals?

Dean sighed, let his hand drop to his side. Shaking his head at what will never, ever be, he crossed the store to where the automotive section was. The only reason why he went into the store was for a bottle of motor oil and maybe some new socks; every heel of his socks had huge holes in them.

His mood didn’t change as he paid for everything and left the store, sped by the door greeter, and cursed as he remembered he left the Impala at the motel they were staying in. “Oh yeah,” he said sarcastically, “It’s a nice, crisp cold night, why don’t you walk over a block in a strange neighborhood, that’s reeeeal smart.”

* * *

Walking through the sliding double doors, he sighed as he was blasted with warm air. He grinned as he saw someone behind the counter, a short young woman that looked like she wanted to be anywhere but there. In front of her was an older woman, short and wide, wearing a purple velour jogging suit. Dean really didn’t want to know why he could recognize that kind of clothing, kind of gave him a cold chill as he got in line. He glanced from side to side, noting a few people sitting around, drinking coffee, but couldn’t help overhearing the conversation before him.

“…and all you have to do is read this passage in the Bible, and God will forgive you. You will go to heaven.” The older woman rifled through her purse, while the younger woman, her nametag read ‘Jack’, looked around frantically for any familiar face. Her eyes skimmed over Dean, and she winced.

“Um ma’am, there’s a-”

“Can you get me a pen dear? I can’t seem to find a pen. Maybe a pencil, I have to write this down for you.” Jack’s lips thinned into a tight smile and reached over to a cup full of pens and handed it to her. She took a deep breath and stared at the clock on her register, bouncing on her heels in impatience.

The lady wrote down the passage, and handed it to the young woman, “This is what you need to say, out loud, and the Lord will forgive you honey. When the world ends, you will go to heaven.”

Jack took the paper and smiled at the older woman, “Thanks, I’ll be sure to do that.” Her voice was flat and dry, but the lady obviously didn’t get her tone of voice and grabbed her wrist. Jack froze, and her eyes widened, her eyes flicked to someone that could help her.

“Promise me you’ll read that passage, dear. For your own immortal soul. Promise!” Dean frowned in alarm, and moved to get the older woman away from the girl when Jack spoke up.

“Ma’am,” She said, tugging her wrist free, “I was raised Catholic-”

“That doesn’t matter! You have to ask God’s forgiveness. That’s the only way.”  
Dean rolled his eyes, “Look lady, she knows the Lord. She doesn’t need to read out of a book to save herself.”

The older woman turned around, giving him an offended look that served to make her look more deranged, and turned back to the girl behind the counter, “Just be sure to read it dear,” As she walked away, she said over her shoulder, “This is great coffee. Just great coffee.”

Dean shook his head as he turned back to the menu, noticing the girl and how her hands were shaking. He smiled gently, and got her attention, “Hey, you ok?”

She looked up, her hazel eyes wide with shock, “That was the weirdest conversation I’ve ever had. Twenty minutes of my life wasted. I hate closing this store so damn much.” She rubbed her throat, and Dean saw the silver flash of a pentacle around her neck.  
His brow furrowed, “That’s a nice necklace you got there.”

She smiled brilliantly up at him, “Thank you. It was a present from my friend.” Her mouth quirked, her almost-skin color lipstick glittering, “Which is probably why she started on me anyway. Also, mentioning when the world was supposedly going to end. I gotta get my crazy-meter fixed. That or stop striking up conversations with old people.”

He chuckled, “Yeah my mouth gets away with me too.”

She smiled, this time it was actually genuine, “Anyway, I’ve wasted enough of your time, what can I get for you tonight?”

He looked up at the menu in sudden panic, “Crap. Don’t tell me I forgot.”

Jack smiled as he shook his head, “Sam will kill me if I get this wrong.”

She grinned, “Don’t tell me, pregnant wife?”

“Ha! Nah, little brother. He likes this sort of…”

“Crap?” She supplied, “You wouldn’t believe what some people put in their mouths, honestly.Is there anything I can get for you ‘til you remember?”

He shrugged, “Yeah, why not? I guess I’ll just have some coffee. A large, with uh, no room. I guess.” He snapped his fingers, “Now I remember! I need a triple, large peppermint nonfat, white chocolate mocha.”

“That’s always a mouthful. No problem, that’ll be five dollars.”

While she made the drinks, Dean looked around the store. Everyone seemed to be in a good mood, laughing and smiling. Soon, the customers left with their goodbyes to Jack; in turn she smiled and wished them a good night.

Something was going on here, it was too damn cheerful.

He turned around and his coffee was sitting on the little hand-off station, he took it and threw away the little stopper in the mouth hole, “So,” he motioned to her necklace, “You believe in that stuff?”

She grinned as she waited for the espresso to come out of the machine, “I believe in a lot of ‘stuff’ actually. The world is a mysterious place, a lot of weird things happen, you gotta believe in something.”

Dean nodded, “’Cause the world is going to end.”

She shook her head, “I probably shouldn’t have said anything, really.”

“Nah, don’t worry about it. I got a couple of crazy friends that have some theories.”

Jack shrugged, and put the lid on his brother’s drink, “Everyone has their theories.” Her lips quirked, “Besides, it’s not like the world is actually ending.” As Dean laughed, she said, “You have a nice night sir. Be careful out there.”

He took the drink, and wished her a good night as well. As he walked out the store, he shivered as a cold breeze seeped through his jacket and he growled at the sound of wing beats behind him, “What do you want Zachariah?”

He turned and said angel was behind him, giving him a blank look, “I wasn’t aware that you could sense us, Dean.”

“And I wasn’t aware of how many times I would have to repeat the word ‘no’ before you bitches get the point. Funny ol' world, isn’t it?”

Zachariah’s lips pursed, “There is nothing ‘funny’ about this war. We will keep asking until you say yes, it was **you** that started this, and it will be **you** that ends it, one way or another.”

Dean’s face went red, “Look, you stay away from me, you stay away from my family. There is nothing you can do, nothing you can say, or show me that will make me say otherwise.”

“Oh, you don’t know the extent of our power, Dean. Don’t push me.”

Dean walked up to him, put everything he was carrying in one hand, and pushed Zachariah. It wasn’t enough to move the angel, because nothing that a human ever did would be enough to push an angel. Zachariah glared and stepped into Dean’s personal space, “Someone from your line **must** be the vessel. The sooner you get that, and the sooner you put aside your human pride and let us do our **job** , the sooner you can go back to whatever life you led before we came along and gave you **purpose**.”

Dean made a face, “You know, for being an angel from Heaven, you have **really** bad breath. Anyone ever tell you that?” With that, he made his way back to the motel.  
From behind, he heard the snide voice say, “If you refuse to be the vessel, we shall simply have to make one.”

“Wha-”

* * *

“Dean.”

Dean’s eyelids fluttered at the sound of the deep voice, and mumbled incoherently.

“Dean, you must wake up now. Open your eyes.”

He rolled over and whined. The voice sounded further off muttering, “He is not listening to me.”

He heard footsteps getting louder, smelling the distinct smell of Bobby, motor oil, incense and old spice. The old Spice always reminded of his dad, and how he used to watch him shave from the doorway of each motel bathroom they were in, wondering when his dad would teach him how.

He ended up having to teach himself since his dad was hunting a werewolf in a small town in Washington.

He felt a hand gently shake his shoulder, “Dean, you gotta wake up, son.”

Dean soon felt himself waking up for real, he noticed his breathing was slightly different, the slight weight on his chest was unexplainable. He opened his eyes to see Castiel and Bobby hovering over him, both wearing expressions of concern, only Bobby’s eyes danced with amusement.

His eyes flicked to both men, “Can anyone tell me why I’m on the floor?” At the sound of his own voice, his eyes widened. The two men exchanged looks and Bobby moved them a little away from Dean with his hand on the angel’s chest. Dean sat up, looking at his hands in horror, “What the Hell is going on?”

“Now don’t panic.” Bobby warned.

“Yeah, that’s going to make me calm down.” He looked down at his chest and gaped, “What the-"

“-It was Zachariah.” At Bobby’s warning glare, Castiel squinted, “He is going to find out anyway. It would be better coming from-”

“Definitely not you.” Bobby turned to Dean and helped him up off the floor. Without another word, he brought Dean into the bathroom, and turned on the light revealing a slim, yet shapely woman standing in front of Bobby. Delicate features, wide green eyes, full and pouty lips; man, she was hot. He moved to stepped close to the image in the mirror, and noticed with dread that the woman moved closer as well.

Unless he was suddenly invisible, the woman was him.

He truly hoped he didn’t hit his head when he fell this time.

* * *

Chapter One

This time when he woke up, he was fully prepared for it to all be just some booze-infused dream, but he was sadly mistaken. He found himself on Bobby’s couch; a throw carefully tucked around him, and snickered. All the sudden, he turns into a girl and Bobby gets paternal. He could hear Bobby in the kitchen, most likely notifying Sam on the latest Winchester news. So great, his little brother knows now and Dean will never hear the end of it.

“I need a friggin’drink.” Dean said, rubbing his forehead. He felt the couch dip and looked up at Castiel, “How did you find me?”

“I knew you were in trouble. Your brother called me when you didn’t come back, he told me where you went, and I found you outside the coffeehouse.” He looked away, “It was my fault this happened, and I should have been more vigilant. If I was, if I was with you, this would not have happened.”

“Hey now,” Dean sat up, “Don’t be like that. It was my fault, I should have taken the car, Ishouldn’t have pissed Zachariah off-”

H was cut off as Castiel’s cool fingers rested against his lips, “No. Do not take the blame for this. You are my charge. My responsibility. I should not have let Zachariah come near you.”

There really wasn’t much Dean could say to that, no matter what he said, Castiel would take the blame anyway. Dean shook his head, grunting in annoyance as the longer hair got into his face, “Does-Does Sam know?”

Castiel nodded, “Bobby is talking to him now. He seemed rather amused, and Bobby was rather angry at him. He raised his voice, so I left and stayed here for when you awakened.”

“So I take it he’s on his way?”

“I will retrieve him if you like.”

Dean frowned, “You don’t have to. I mean, he can get here himself. At least then I can…get used to this.”

Castiel head cocked to the side, “You do not want him to see you like this. You are afraid he’s going to say something, do something upsetting?”

“No! I’m not afraid of what Sam is going to say. Sam’s a little bitch. Sam can suck it.”

“Suck what?”

Dean sighed, “Never mind. Look, I don’t want to order you around, but if Sam were here, it would save Bobby a headache.”

He heard the beating of mighty wings and knew that Castiel left.

* * *

“-Sorry, Bobby! But you can’t tell me you didn’t at least crack a smile at Dean. Come on! He’s a **girl**!”

“Samuel.”

Sam jumped as he heard Castiel behind him. He hated it when the angel just popped up behind them. “What?!”

“Dean needs you.”

Sam snorted, “Yeah, but I don’t even know-”

“He needs his brother.” Castiel’s blue gaze bore into Sam, “If you say anything, or do **anything** to hurt him right now…”

“What? You’ll **smite** me?”

“Exactly.”

* * *

He really, really tried.

He just wasn’t expecting his brother to look….

Well, cute for one thing.

“Oh come on Dean. I didn’t mean to laugh but seriously-”

“No ‘but seriously’! I’m a girl, dammit!”

Sam slumped outside of Bobby’s bathroom, where Dean shut himself after Sam snickered at the sight of him. He shuddered as he looked up to see Castiel staring at him from across the room, and Bobby glaring reproachfully at him.

“If you’re done being an idgit, we need to fix this.”

Yeah, it was going to be a long night.

* * *

A week had gone by, and Dean was still a girl. The whole thing creeped Sam out; Dean still acted like himself; to see the girl chug a beer and chow down on a burger the only way his older brother could was just weird, but it sure didn’t bother Dean to wear girly clothes. He firmly blocked that Wal-mart episode out of his mind, he wouldn’t be able to step near the underwear section for a **very** long time. Bobby was acting all paternal, looking at Dean as if there was going to be water-works at any minute. The strangest thing of all, was Castiel.

He hovered over Dean, albeit unobtrusively, and no matter where Dean went, Castiel was there.

He was **always** there.

He no longer disappeared for hours or days on end, his eyes were trained on Dean whenever he was in the room, and not to mention having to be everywhere Dean went outside. He was very protective of him, more so than usual, and it irritated the crap out of Sam. No longer did his brother…err, sister?- spend all his time with his little brother. Sam and Bobby spent most of their waking hours trying to find ways to reverse whatever it was that Zachariah did to him. Dean and Castiel would spend most of their time together, they would either be out searching for someone or something to help, or just…hanging out.

It was weird.

What happened to Dean needing **him**? What happened to their bond? What happened to their family? All of a sudden, his brother has been turned into a female and now they don’t get to hang out as much, Dean was pretty much dating the freakin’ angel. And wasn’t that the most bizarre thing ever? He didn’t like it one bit, if the damn angel was so ‘pure’ he wouldn’t be trying to move in on Dean in his time of need.

He **has** to stop this.

* * *

“So, what’s up?”

Dean jumped and nearly dropped the tool he was using to show Castiel how to fix the Impala. For a minute, Sam nearly saw red. That was his and Dean’s thing. Castiel had no right at all moving in on his territory, he clenched his fists, he really wanted to kick that angel’s ass.

“Dude! You scared the shit out of me!” He slumped, a hand to his heaving chest.

Sam shrugged, “Sorry. I just haven’t seen you in a while, so…”

After a few moments of silence, Castiel put his hand on Dean’s shoulder, “I will go inside and get you something to drink, it's rather... sunny out.” It was a flimsy excuse, but the angel knew the two brothers needed to talk, and having him there was not helping matters.

Dean looked up and Castiel and giggled- **giggled** \- at what he saw, “Oh wow, Clarence. Come here, you got smudges.”

Castiel’s eyes crinkled and he leaned down for Dean to wipe off the oil smudge from him. Sam wanted to gag. Castiel straightened, seeing the look that Sam failed to hide, he tilted his head to the side, “Samuel? Can I get you anything?”

He smiled rather tightly at him, “No thanks. I’m good.”

The angel nodded and made his way into the house, Dean went back to the car, and tucking the oil-stained rag back into his jeans’ pocket. Sam sighed and Dean’s head drooped,“ I take it you wanna talk?”

“Fine, never mind. Forget I even came out here.”

Dean growled and faced him, “What is your problem? You are acting more a girl than I am.”

“What, so now it’s my fault I want to talk to my…sister?”

Dean made a face, “Well you have been more of a whiney bitch than usual. What did I do now? Use all of your shampoo? Which, by the way we have to get more of, ‘s the only stuff that keeps my hair manageable now.”

“See?! That’s just it! You are enjoying this waaay too much, Dean.”

Dean reared back, “ **Enjoying** myself? How dare you say that to me!” He threw the rag at Sam, “I have been busting my **ass** trying to figure out a way out of this, or at least not **thinking** about it so much! You think I want to be a girl? I’m thirty fucking years old for Christ’s sake! I don’t know how to be a girl! I don’t know what to do!” Sam’s heart thumped in horror as he saw his brother’s eyes reddening.

“Dean, I-”

“You think this is easy for me? You think it’s easy constantly having people push me around, with a fucking war hanging over my head, worrying about you? Worrying about Bobby? Worrying about Cas?! You think I ENJOY THIS?!” Near the end, Dean was screaming, tears running down his face. He looked over his shoulder, and Sam could see Bobby and Castiel watching from the porch. Bobby gripped the porches railing tight, looking like he was about to vault himself over and pummel Sam. In the blink of an eye, Castiel was off the porch, with Dean held tightly in his arms, giving Sam the look of death.

“Stand aside. Now.” The ground vibrated with the force of Castiel’s anger, and Sam stumbled out of the way in shock. In another blink, they were gone, the storm door slamming shut behind them.

He went to follow, but a hand gripping his wrist stopped him. Turning to Bobby, he knew that from the look on his face, he was in for it. “Now you listen to me, Sam Winchester. I have been keeping mum for a while now, but this is going to stop. Your brother is going through a lot right now, sometimes too much, he needs the people closest to him to get their **heads** out of their **asses** and just be there for him. Think you can do that? Think you can stop thinking about yourself and putting everything on your brother, be a man?”

Sam nodded and looked at the porch in shame, “Yes, sir. I’m sorry.”

“It’s not me who you should be apologizing to, son.”

* * *

Castiel answered the knock and Sam could see Dean lying down on the bed facing away to the wall, “Samuel.” He crossed the threshold and shut the door behind him, “What do you want?”

“I wanted to talk to Dean. Apologize.”

“Dean is not able to talk to you right now. He is still upset with you, and I don't think it wise for you to should speak with each other right now.”

“What gives you the right-”

“I have every right to defend Dean.” Castiel said fiercely, stepping into Sam’s space, “It is not right for you to be attacking him this way, even if he is acting differently than you are used to. I have been with him every step of the way, protecting him. Where were you?”

“I was researching-”

“Researching?” He cocked his head to the side, “Or hiding from Dean?”

“I wasn’t hiding! I’m trying to help him!”

“Then be there for him. Don’t let your opinions get in the way of supporting Dean, he needs someone who understands him.”

“I know. He needs his brother,” Sam finished for the angel. “I’ll come and talk to him later, once he calms down.”

The angel nodded, “Thank you. I know how strange this is for you, but think about how terrifying this is for your brother.”

Sam stopped the angel from going back into the bedroom, “Thanks. How’s he doing?”Castiel gazed at the slight form on the bed, the silence stretching for a little longer than Sam expected.

* * *

A few hours later, Dean stood in front of the mirror, quietly contemplating his new…image. He supposed Sam was right, he was enjoying this a little, but how often could a man wear pink, lacey lady’s underwear outside the bedroom without getting funny looks? He considered that train a thought for a minute before he turned to the side and grinned. Oh yeah, enjoying this a little bit more.

He turned to the bed, only to jump at seeing Castiel standing in the middle of the room, “Jeez man, you almost gave me a heart attack!”

“I'm sorry.”

“You’ve been gone a while, where were you? I was kinda worried.”

Castiel looked at him rather wide-eyed, and then away, “I was thinking.”

Dean looked down and jumped, quickly pulling a shirt on to cover, “About what?”

“Many things,” At Dean’s nod, they both sat at the edge of the bed, “I've started having very strong...feelings.”

“Oh.” Dean never thought that the angel would be so forthcoming about something like that, Anna had said that angels didn’t have feelings. For Castiel, the most loyal of the garrison, starting to develop feelings must be very frightening.

“Before, I used to carry out every order without question, always seeking Father’s approval. I have done things Dean that I…regret. Since I have met you, everything had changed. I had changed. I believe for the better. You have shaped me into who I am, and never once asked for anything, just acceptance.”

Dean looked away from Castiel’s intense gaze, blushing, “Cas, you're my good friend, and I don't have many people I can trust. Of course I would do anything for you.”

“As I would do anything for you.”

Dean frowned, “What are you trying to tell me, Cas?”

Castiel copied the movement, “I needed to be clear, honest with you. Whenever I am away from you, my thoughts are clouded with your presence. I yearn to be where you are, and for a long time, I never knew why.”

Dean drew a deep breath as Castiel scooted closer, “This isn’t just because I got a new set of rocking boobs is it?”

Castiel shook his head, “Your vessel is not what is important to me, Dean. Only you are.”

“So this is why the whole whorehouse idea didn’t pan out, huh?” Dean gulped as Castiel’s head tilted to the side, eyes never leaving his, “Do you want me?”

The angel’s eyes closed, he answered hoarsely, “Yes.”

Without thinking about any else but the present, Dean closed the distance between them, and sighed as they shared their first kiss. It wasn’t as weird as he expected it to be, Castiel was pretty good at it considering it was his first time. Dean chalked it up to them being so familiar with one another, so the most common rituals of dating and courtship never applied. It was just as well, at least Dean would finally be able to have a new experience in bed.

* * *

The next morning, Dean woke to the sound voices, and the clanging of dishes. He stretched languidly, feeling every muscle acutely, grinning happily. He knew that when he opened his eyes, that Castiel would not be there. Dean knew it wasn't because he didn't want to be- especially after last night- he was on a very important mission, and he needed all the time he could get to look for any trail of his errant father. Dean knew that from anyone else, that would have been just an excuse to beat a hasty retreat, a move he had used so many times it was bordering on ridiculousness. Nevertheless, Dean sighed as he woke up to find empty space beside his, missing the feeling of that lean body wrapped around his own.

Groaning, he levered himself up from the bed, muscles stiff from lack of use. He really didn’t want to leave his nice, warm bed, but it was going on near afternoon and there will be questions he would have to answer if he didn’t go downstairs soon.

As he stood up from the bed, he staggered as a sudden wave of dizziness flowed through him. Shaking his head, and chalking it up to not eating at his regular time, he padded into the bathroom to take a shower. Turning on the water, he looked down, arms wrapping around his breasts. For some weird reason, they were sore as all Hell.

He looked up in the mirror and wondered, Maybe all women went through that after sex? If so, he really needed to get in touch with some of the women he slept with when he was a man, because he was sure he owed them an apology. Although, the morning after never gave him any suspicions that anything was wrong.

Shrugging, he hopped into the shower and completed his morning ritual, albeit significantly differently than he was used to. You couldn’t break thirty years of habit in just a few weeks, after all.

After his shower, he started brushing his teeth, when another wave of dizziness afflicted him. He held onto the counter to ride it out, only this time it was coupled with the hollow feeling of nausea. After taking a few deep breaths, the feeling went away as suddenly as it came. He walked into the bedroom and got dressed quickly, itching to get to the kitchen.

* * *

Dean slowly came to a stop as he heard voices from the kitchen, namely Sam getting Jo and Ellen up to speed on what has happened. His lips thinned, Sam might as well just rent a damn billboard, it would just save him time.

“A girl?” Ellen questioned incredulously.

“Yeah,” Dean said, a little louder than normal. He had to stifle her laughter as everyone in the room jumped a little.

“Dean!” Sam greeted brightly, obviously trying to save himself, “Kinda getting worried there. You don’t normally sleep in.”

Dean shrugged, and sat at the table, “Had a long night I guess.”

Bobby nodded, “It’s about time you had yourself some regular sleep. Hungry?”

They both chuckled, of course Dean was hungry. Dean was always hungry.

It took no time at all for Bobby to plunk down a heaping plate full of hot steamy eggs and bacon in front of Dean. The rest of them were still in the middle of eating their own plates of food, and talking amongst themselves, no one noticed as Dean’s face paled. Dean scooted his chair back a little, gulping down the nausea again, this time coming back in full force with a couple of friends. He grew hot, mouth filling with water, stomach roiling at the sight of all that food.

Where once the sizzling bacon and gooey eggs would make him nearly drool with want, the food now filled her with an entirely different reaction. He gagged, slapping a hand over his mouth and running for all he was worth up the stairs, and slammed the door behind him.

“The Hell was that about?”

* * *

Dean panted, still kneeling in front of the toilet, wiping the sweat away with a washcloth. He didn’t understand why he reacted to the food like that; it must have been because he didn’t have dinner the night before. He flushed the toilet, then splashed water on his face, and hoped he wasn’t coming down with something.

* * *

“I hope Dean isn’t sick,” Jo said in concern. Ellen looked out the kitchen in contemplation, slowly sipping her coffee.

“Skipped dinner last night. Must be coming down with something, boy never misses a meal.”Bobby said before he took a drink of his coffee.

Sam set his fork down, “I think Castiel was here, I heard them talking.”

“That’s not necessarily a bad thing.”

“Isn’t it, though? I mean, an angel got Dean into this situation, couldn’t Castiel just, you know,” Sam waved his hands, “Undo it?”

“If he could just ‘undo’ it, you think he would have un-did it already? Besides, he already said that Zachariah was his superior, stands to reason that Castiel may not be able to do anything about it.”

They immediately clammed up as soon as Dean entered the room, sitting down at the table again warily, looking at his plate as if it was going to bite him. Bobby snorted, “Something wrong with your breakfast?”

Dean shook his head, “I don’t know. The smell is making me sick, but I’m so damn hungry.”

Ellen stood from the table and put a hand on Bobby’s shoulder, “Don’t worry, I’ll make Dean something to eat. You just finish up.” She turned to Dean, “What do you want?”

Dean considered the question very carefully, rubbing his stomach, when he brightened as if a light bulb went off, “Waffles. I want waffles.” He nodded, “Got any fruit too?”

Sam nearly choked on his coffee and Jo took a huge bite out of her toast to hide her laughter, Ellen and Bobby just stared at Dean, who wasn’t looking at any of them, just concentrating on drinking his milk without throwing it back up.

“Come again?”

Dean looked up and blinked, “What? I can eat something other than animal once in a while, can’t I?”

Ellen nodded, “Sure, waffles and…fruit. Coming right up.”

It took no time at all before Ellen set Dean’s plate in front of him, and no time at all before Dean poured nearly the whole bottle of syrup on top. What once was a healthy meal, soon became a Dean Winchester breakfast.

They looked on in horror as he dug in with fervor.

* * *

Every morning was exactly the same; Dean would wake up, take a shower, feel dizzy, then spill the contents of his stomach in the toilet. She was starting to get irritated, this wasn’t the way to start his mornings, and it bothered him that it was happening at all. He wondered yet again if he was coming down with something.

It had been three weeks since Castiel left to find God, three weeks of boredom and worry. Bobby and Sam tried to get his mind off of…well, everything, and it wasn’t going as nearly as smoothly as they thought.

“Why can’t I go hunting? It’s not like I’m injured.”

“I know you haven’t been feeling well, Dean. You need rest, not throw yourself into a hunt right now.” Sam said.

“So while I’m getting rest, innocent people are getting hurt, maybe even killed.”

“There are other hunters out there Dean! You don’t always have to be the person to save everyone!”

Dean frowned, “Why are you yelling? You don’t have to yell.”

Sam’s arms dropped and he sighed, “Dude, I’m not yelling. I’m trying to make a point.”

“Well do you think you can make your point at a reasonable level? You expect me to just sit here while you guys get all the fun. I’m bored!”

“Then do a crossword, watch a movie, work on your car or something. Just chill out, we are doing the best we can here.”

Dean’s eyebrows went up, “Well fine. If you’re going to be like that, I might as well just go outside so I won’t **bother** you anymore.” He walked out of the house, muttering the entire way.

Sam rolled his eyes and shared a look with Bobby, “What the Hell is his problem? Time of the month?”

Bobby snorted, “Don’t let him hear that.”

* * *

Dean threw the tool he was using in a fit of anger. Who did Sam think he was, telling him what to do? If he wanted to go out and hunt, that should be his damn right. He was bored, and if he wanted to be honest, pretty damn lonely too. Would it have killed Castiel to at least just call? Or leave a note?

He sat down on the ground in front of the Impala and checked his cell. He sighed in dismay as the screen told him the same damn thing it did about twenty minutes ago when he last checked. Nothing. No phone call, and no text. Of course, he didn’t think Castiel ever texted anyone since he got the phone, but still. Something would have been better than nothing at all. He was starting to think that Castiel's supposed need to find God was an excuse after all.

He huffed as his eyes started to water, he truly hated crying like this. He felt like shit, every muscle ached, especially his chest, and every morning he threw up. Even after the initial morning heave, it was like a constant roller coaster roil in his gut. He was so tired most of the time that if he was left on the couch or at the table, chances were he would be asleep when he was found again. It just wasn’t like him, and it didn’t remind Dean of any illness that he knew of.

All of the sudden he paled, what if it was some supernatural thing? What if this little…sickness was just the beginning to something more horrible to come?

* * *

Ellen entered the kitchen to see Dean pouring over a tome, and frowned, “What are you up to now?”

Dean looked up and poked at the pages, “I’m going to get to the bottom of this thing.”

“Thing? What’s going on?”

Dean leaned his head on his hand, “I don’t feel well, and everything hurts. I’m dizzy, I’m nauseous, and I’m eating fruit! I never eat fruit.”

Ellen sighed, “Let me guess, you get sick usually in the morning or all day, you're tired, chest sensitive?” She sat down at the table nest to Dean, scooting her chair closer.

“Yeah! What is it? I hope it doesn’t get worse, I hate throwing up.”

Ellen smiled sadly, “Did you ever think you might be pregnant?”

“Ha! Right, me pregnant? That could never happen.”

“Are you so sure about that?”

Dean’s eyes widened, and he whispered, “No, it can’t be.”

“How long has it been since your little angel friend was around?” She questioned gently. Dean sighed and looked away, and she leaned toward him, “Hey, Dean, this is serious here. We have to know, I promise you I won’t say anything to anyone yet.”

“The last time Cas was here, it was about four weeks ago.”

She stroked Dean’s hair, she knew what it was, she just needed Dean to say it out loud, “And was that around the time this all happened?”

Dean sniffled, and then whispered in a small voice, “Yes.”

“Dean, honey,” she turned Dean to face her. “Did you use protection?”

Dean’s lip quivered, “Yeah, I know we did. I just don’t how it’s possible!”

Ellen pulled him into her arms, “Sometimes, honey, condoms just don’t work. They aren’t as effective as most people like to think.”

She held Dean for a while, until he calmed down. Ellen was scared too when she found out that she was pregnant with Jo; she could only imagine how Dean was feeling. Not only did the eldest Winchester have to suddenly deal with being in woman's, the poor thing was now pregnant, with an angel’s child.

She continued stroking Dean’s hair, “You want me to get you a test, just to be sure?”

Dean shook her head, “No, I think I can get my own test. I just don’t know what to do if I'm really pregnant. I have no idea how to get a doctor, fake all those papers, telling Bobby, telling Sam, telling Cas…”

“Now don’t you worry about any of that, I will take care of your papers, and find you a good doctor. You’ll have to stick around here for a while, travelling all the time wouldn’t be good for the baby,” Ellen patted his shoulder. “As for telling the guys, you don’t know for sure yet. If you are, we will deal with it when the time comes. Don’t worry yourself until we know for sure.”

Dean straightened, “Thanks, Ellen, for everything.”

Ellen held Dean’s shoulders, “I’ll always be here for you Dean.”

* * *

Dean stood in the middle of the feminine products aisle, staring at the vast array of pregnancy tests, wondering which one he should buy for the best results. There were digital tests, ones with a plus sign, another with a pink line, and there was another that gave a smiley face when positive. He frowned, he just couldn’t decide.

 _Well,_ She shrugged, _when in doubt._ She swept the entire shelf into her cart, and walked off to get some fuel. She was going to need all the drink she could find. When he got back to Bobby’s, he ran up the stairs and slammed the door to the bathroom.

All Sam and Bobby could do was look at each other and shrug. They didn’t know what was up with him at the moment, and both were unwilling to find out due to Dean’s recent abnormal behavior. Ellen had left, saying she needed to do some business for a client, whatever that meant.

Sam grinned and brought his fist out, but sighed as Bobby just gave him a look. He set aside the book he was reading and went upstairs to see what Dean was up to. He walked up the stairs cautiously, staring at the door all the while, he couldn’t hear anything suspicious, so he figured it would be safe to knock on the door.

It opened only a crack, and all he could see was Dean’s glaring eyeball, “What?”

“I was just wondering if you were alright…what are you up to in there?”

“Hold on.” He closed the door and unlocked it. That alone was enough to make him wonder what the hell was going on. When the door reopened, Dean stood in the threshold with his arms wrapped around himself, looking pretty upset.

Sam frowned, “What’s up, dude?”

Dean motioned him into the bathroom and after he shut the door, he sat down on the edge of the bathtub. Dean sat on the toilet and moved the brown paper bag, revealing a pregnancy test.

“What…the hell…is that?”

“You know what it is Sam.”

Of course he knew what it was, there have been times he walked in on Jessica with one of those, but he never thought his brother would have one. That was a conversation he never thought he would have with Dean, he never thought his sibling would ever sleep with another man. Granted, right now his brother was a woman, but that didn’t make any difference at all to Sam. He just assumed Dean would sleep with another woman; it was every man’s fantasy after all.

“I would assume this is Castiel’s doing.”

Dean sighed, “Yeah.”

“Why?”

“Why? It’s what we both wanted.”

“To sleep with each other.”

“Yes, Sam. We had sex, ok? I wanted to, he wanted to, it was awesome.”

“Jesus, Dean-”

“Don’t,” He gave Sam a hard look, “Just don’t, ok? I don’t need to justify my actions to you. You wanted to know what was up, and I’m telling you now.”

“Okay,” Sam raised his hands, “So…how far along, I mean, how long since…”

“Four weeks.”

“And you haven’t talked to him since? Why the Hell hasn’t he come back?”

Dean shrugged, “You know how it is out there. It’s very dangerous…he probably can’t come back here for a while.”

“Are you going to tell him?”

“I don’t even know for sure yet. I’ve got three more minutes until the stick tells me.”

They waited for the remainder of the time, nerves strung taught. Dean looked down at his watch and sighed, “Okay.”

They both crouched in front of the sink, eyeing the little white stick with trepidation. Dean exhaled nervously and picked it up. His eyes widened, and Sam’s chest tightened, “What dude? What does it say?!”

“It’s positive.”

Sam wiped his face, plopping down on the edge of the bathtub, “Well, you never know, it could be a false positive.”

“Yeah…yeah, I’ll try it again.” She shakily set the stick onto the counter and ripped open the other packet. Sam looked up to see Dean giving him an expectant look.

“What?”

“You mind?” Indicating the stick and nodding his head at the door. Sam got what Dean wanted and quickly left the room for a few minutes.

* * *

A few hours had gone by, and the bathroom was littered in little white sticks of doom, Dean sat against the wall across from the toilet, holding the instructions and reading them carefully. Sam was holding a blank stick, eyeing it curiously, “There is no possible way all of these could be positive.”

“Well they tend to say ‘positive’ when they are, in fact, positive.”

Sam glared at the piece of plastic, and then nodded, “I’m trying this out.”

Dean threw him a look, “What?”

“I’m going to see if it stays positive for me. They can’t all say yes.”

“Dude, you are so-”

Without another word, Sam jumped into the shower and Dean could hear the unmistakable sound of a zipper being un-zipped.

“Dude! What the Hell?!”

“What?” Sam chuckled, “It’s not like you’ve never heard me pee before.”

“Yeah, but dude, I take my showers in there.”

“I’m sure you’ve done it a time or two.”

Dean made a face, “That is wrong and unholy. I always knew you did that, and now I have proof.” Sam didn't see Dean nearly vibrating with supressed laughter at how totally weird this situation was. And that Sam was peeing in the shower next to him, if only Dean had a camera.

They waited again. Dean bounced his knee, alternating staring at the test and glaring at her brother. Sam rolled his eyes, “Get over it.”

He looked at the test, it was negative. He handed the test to Dean wordlessly, “Oh, shit.”

They both shared a look, Dean was terrified, and Sam was…not very happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> inukagome15 pointed out a glaring error to me today and I shall fix it. Also, I'm editing and revising a lot of this, so they gave me an excuse to play with this story. ;)


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam grabbed the test and slammed it on the table, "Dean's pregnant."

Chapter Two

Sam’s thundering footsteps chased Dean down the stairs and into the kitchen. Dean was eager to throw away all of the evidence and get to his phone before Sam had a chance to do something monumentally stupid, like call Cas or something before Dean had a chance to talk to the angel himself. He was able to throw away most of the tests, wrestling the last out of Sam’s hand outside the bathroom before he could go tattle to the old hunter. He stopped short however, as he witnessed Bobby sitting calmly at the table, reading what looked to be like a really old tome. Most of Bobby’s books were old, but this one was nearly black with age and wear, and the older man was handling the pages with the utmost care, hands encased in rubber gloves. He grunted softly as Sam barreled into her back.

Bobby looked up and squinted, “The hell is all the noise for?”

Dean whirled on Sam, threatening him with a look, turning back to Bobby and saying innocently, “Nothing.” He shifted the last test that proclaimed the fateful news in his hands behind his back, and Bobby’s eyes narrowed.

“What’s going on? What are you hiding behind your back?”

Dean opened his mouth, but before he could say anything, Sam snatched the test and slammed it on the table, “Dean’s pregnant.”

Dean’s eyes closed as the tranquility of the room crashed and burned. All that could be heard were the birds chirping outside, the ticking clock on the wall. Bobby stared at the little white stick, Dean turned to stare at Sam. He was pale, his hands were shaking violently with the need to wrap them around his little brother's neck and squeeze. His breath came in harsh little gasps, trying to stop yet another breakdown. Sam soon found he couldn’t look either of them in the eye, just decided to stare at the floor.

“Is this some kind of joke?” Bobby asked tentatively.

Dean blinked rapidly, “No.”

He nodded slowly, “Okay.” He picked up the little stick gingerly and examined it thoughtfully, “Does Castiel know?”

He shook her head, “I haven’t seen him for a while, and he needed to focus on finding-”

Sam snorted, “So he gets his, and then flies off. Classy.”

Dean shot from his chair, knocking it over violently, “That’s not it at all! You weren’t there, you don’t know what happened, you don’t even know him at all!”

“And you do?” He rolled his eyes, “I can’t believe that you of all people are making excuses for **him**. He’s an angel, Dean, they’re all dicks.”

“Not Castiel.”

“ **Especially** Castiel.” Sam shook his head, “You don’t think for a minute that this is all a little coincidental?”

Dean’s heart nearly stopped, no, it can’t be.

Sam continued unfazed, “The angels want you to do something. Something you **really** don’t want to do. Being a vessel is carried on through the **bloodline** , Dean. Castiel is the only angel that you trust-”

“Now that’s enough!” Bobby’s voice rang out through the house, shutting Sam up effectively. Dean sat down in relief, either that or he was going to throw up again, he wasn’t entirely sure. “Sam.” The younger Winchester jumped at being addressed, “Go to the store. The list is on the fridge, and it will do you good to get some air.”

Dean didn’t say anything as the door slammed behind him, but when he felt Bobby’s hand on her arm she couldn’t stop the slight tremble to his lower lip. “Now now,” the older man crooned, and Dean couldn’t hold it back anymore. He tried hiding his face as a sob escaped, but it didn’t dissuade the old hunter from pulling him into his arms and tucking his head underneath his chin. He rocked gently, stroking his hair in order to calm. He hoped the angel would get his ass to the house soon; he had a few choice words to say to him.

* * *

Sam did not come back for a long while, at least a few hours. Dean couldn’t bring himself to care, after the whole kitchen fiasco. Ellen had come back with as much information that she could get, and for Ellen, that was saying a lot. The two older hunters went over the information over coffee and hushed conversation. Bobby didn’t say much while Dean was there, just quietly sent him to his room with a soft pat on the back.

Dean was curled on the bed, looking out the window and wishing Castiel was there. It had been a month, the longest stretch of time that he could think of that they had been apart. Where was he? Was he okay? Did he think of Dean as much she thought of him? He scoffed in disgust with himself and turned over on his other side, he was so tired but couldn’t sleep, and there were too many thoughts running through his head for him to relax.

His brow furrowed as he heard his cell vibrating on the table beside the bed, he was sure she left it in his coat pocket downstairs. He levered himself up and blew out a gust of breath at the amount of text messages he saw.

All from Castiel.

He even had a few missed calls, which made him feel like a raging bitch for not answering, but in his defense he didn’t have it in his room the last time he saw it. It made him wonder **why** he didn’t hear his phone, but that was something that he would have to figure out after he read through all the messages.

_I was wondering how you were._

_I am sorry I had to go so early, Anna gave me a lead that I could not pass up. I know that you would say not to trust other angels, and I don’t. I just have to be sure._

_For some reason, the phone is not letting me call you. I am tempted to throw it._

_Now I have lost minutes. The voice is irritating me._

_I set the phone down for a few minutes while I smote a group of demons, did you call me?_

_Dean I need to talk to you. Call me back as soon as possible._

_You have not called me or sent me anything. Did something happen?_

_You are not hunting right now, are you?_

_Your battery didn’t die, did it? That happened to me, but I used the cord you gave me._

_I am starting to get a little concerned Dean. I want to speak with you, but you haven’t answered me, I tried calling you like you said to do, but you have not answered._

On and on it went, a month’s worth of text messages that made Dean feel exponentially worse.

The rest of them started to get a little panicked, well as panicked as Castiel could ever get, but the last one was the clincher.

_De n, this isn’t funny nymore. My fingers hurt nd I think I broke button . C ll me._

He snorted, then instantly felt bad. He shouldn’t giggle at that, but only Castiel would accidentally break a tiny plastic button with the force of his worry. He dialed Castiel’s number and waited for him to pick up.

He answered! There were some slight muffled sounds, “Dean?”

“How did you know it was me?”

“You are the only one that ever calls. Are you all right?”

Dean nodded, and then rolled his eyes since Castiel couldn’t exactly see him, “Yeah, I’m okay. Sam is being an ass, but what else is new? I’m sorry I didn’t call you or anything, I forgot I put my phone on vibrate.”

There was a pause, “I was very worried that something happened to you.”

He put a hand over his eyes, just hearing his growly voice made him want to see the angel that much more, “I know. I’m sorry.”

“You are not okay. I will be there in a minute.”

“No, Cas. You don’t have to-”

He looked up as he heard the flapping of wings, and couldn’t repress the joy that blossomed in his chest at seeing him after so long, “Cas!” He hung up the phone and launched at him. He caught him easily, folding his arms gently around the hunter as he burrowed into his chest. Dean couldn’t explain away the utter **need** he felt in the angel's presence, and he didn’t think he really wanted to.

They stood there for a while, just listening to each other’s heart beat, Dean breathing in Castiel’s scent. All the pressure, all the weight on his shoulders just lifted being in the angel’s arms. He let out a deep sigh, and burrowed deeper, not caring at all how strange he was acting. He grinned hugely as he felt Castiel's hand rubbing his back; laying his head on the angel's shoulder. Dean stopped himself from saying anything; he just wanted to bask in this feeling for a while.

“I missed you,” Castiel said quietly. “I thought…”

His brow furrowed as the angel trailed off, “What did you think?”

Castiel shook his head, “It doesn't matter now.”

“I think it does. Tell me.”

He sighed, “I thought…that something changed between us.”

“Well,” Dean smiled, “something did change between us. A lot has.”

“I meant-”

He pulled back slightly, “I know what you meant, Cas. And you’re wrong, nothing’s happened that made me not want to talk to you.” He shook his head and sighed again, “There’s just a lot of drama going on, and my stupid phone-”

Castiel silenced the hunter as he leaned over and kissed him softly. After a few minutes, he pulled back and smiled slightly. It faded as he noticed the look on Dean's face, “Something’s wrong.”

Dean pulled away and motioned to the bed, “I think you should sit down for this.”

Castiel frowned, but did as he asked. Dean turned his back to him and gathered his tattered courage, he was so afraid of what the angel would say, or even do, after he gave him the news. He took a fortifying breath and turned back to the angel, twisting his ring, “Um, there’s really no easy way to say this, but…I’m pregnant.”

Castiel froze, and Dean couldn't tell if he was breathing or not. Before he could do or say anything, the angel smoothly rose and walked up to him. Dean stiffened; he wasn’t altogether sure what Castiel would do.

He was surprised to see Castiel swiftly drop to his knees in front of him. His hands shook slightly, and settled gently on Dean's belly. He gasped as the angel gazed in front of him with tears in his eyes. He looked up, lips parting but nothing coming out. His brow furrowed, “I-I have no words…”

Dean wrapped his hands around Castiel's and asked meekly, “This is okay?”

He chuckled softly as he stood, pulled Dean into his arms, and kept one hand on his stomach the whole time, “Of course this is okay, Dean. This is more than ‘okay’.” He leaned his forehead against Dean's, spreading out his fingers, his hand spanning his abdomen. “This is a miracle Dean, I can’t think of anything else to explain this.”

“I don’t want to burst your bubble or anything, but did you wear a condom?”

“The plastic thing you put on me?”

Dean grinned, “Yeah. Did you notice if it broke, or slipped off?”

“I believe I was thinking of other things at the time.”

He grinned wider and shook his head, “I’m not going to question this. I’m terrified and it couldn’t have come at a worse time, but…I want to keep it. I want to keep our baby.”

* * *

They lazed in bed, wrapped in sheets and each other, and Dean couldn’t remember the last time he was this happy. He used Castiel’s chest as his personal pillow while the angel contented himself with running his fingers through his hair; it was a total chick-flick moment, but one that Dean could live with as long as Cas kept petting him.

“So, what kept you away so long?”

“Anna gave me a lead,” He answered quietly, for some reason they always spoke quietly with each other when alone, “I don’t think I understood her correctly though. It seemed no matter where I went; I found nothing, despite her claims.” His words hung in the air, as if he wanted to say something else.

Dean leaned up to face Cas, stroking a few locks off of his forehead, “Hey, talk to me. What’s wrong?”

“You told me you needed space, I tried to give you that.”

He pulled back, “What? I never said anything like that, ever.”

Castiel frowned, “I got your message, on the voicemail. You said things were happening too fast, and that you needed space. I wanted to talk to you about it, but you said not to see you for a while. I thought I did something wrong.”

A feeling of dread settled in Dean's stomach, and he suddenly felt the need to throw up, “Cas, I promise you I never said anything like that. I only just found my phone today, I totally thought I had it in my coat or something, but I guess I was wrong.” He grabbed her phone off the bedside table, “I got all of these messages from you.”

Castiel gingerly took the phone from him and flipped through the messages, “This explains why I did not receive any reply.” He frowned, “I do not understand what is going on.”

“I decided that the best course of action would be to separate the both of you.” They jumped in alarm as Anna appeared in their room. She cocked her head to the side, her lips pursing the slightest bit, “It seems I have been too late.”

Dean rolled off of Castiel, wrapping the sheet across his chest, “What the hell is going on, Anna?”

She looked at Castiel in annoyance before addressing Dean, “I heard of a plan, one of the angels in the garrison that is still on our side found out that Zachariah was going to make a vessel for Michael.” At Dean’s blank look she sighed, “Dean, you are a vessel, and being a vessel is carried-”

“-Through the bloodline. I know. But what I don’t know is, why?” Dean hit the mattress, “Why do this to me?”

Anna shook her head, “Because they needed a vessel for Michael, Dean. They will stop at nothing to get what they want, and they will do anything to achieve their goal. What Zachariah did not realize is how close Castiel is to you, he did not know that anyone was watching him, that we knew he would try to do something, anything to you. We tried to stop Zachariah from completing his plan at the time, but now you are pregnant, so Zachariah got what he wanted.”

Castiel growled and got out of bed, wrapping the last sheet around his hips, “That’s enough Anna. What happens between Dean and I, is private and not up for your commentary. Why are you here?”

“There is nothing ‘private’ when it comes to the two of you. I don’t know if you have noticed, but you are an **angel**. And Dean, you are the one to stop the apocalypse. You two will always be watched, they will always know what you two are doing. Now I did you a favor and separated the both of you so that whatever they had planned would not affect you. And this is the thanks I get.” Anna shook her head, turning her attention to Dean, “Zachariah does not know about your…condition yet. I will do my best to ensure it stays that way.”

“Well, thanks. I guess.”

Anna nodded, “I’ll just let you get back to…” Just like that, and she was gone.

Dean joined Castiel, putting a hand on his tense shoulder, “Are you alright?”

“She had no right to do that.”

“She was just trying to look out for you. I know it’s not right that she didn’t tell you, but at least she tried to help us, she’s still on our side.” He yawned and maneuvered the angel to the bed, “Let’s lay down, we’ll figure this entire thing out in the morning, we can’t do anything if we are this tired.”

* * *

The next morning, Dean looked down at his unfastened jeans in despair, “You have got to be kidding me.” There was no way his jeans would button, not over his already slightly swelled abdomen. His shoulders slumped; he never thought everything would be…growing, so soon. He padded over to a chest of drawers and pulled out a pair of sweats, the same that he used to sleep in when he was...in his old body. He needed familiarity right now; otherwise he would get right back into bed and not get out for the rest of the day.

By now, the dizziness and nausea were like second nature. The morning sickness was very inconvenient; he had more than just a close relationship with the toilet now. On the bright side however, the bathroom had never looked so clean.

After he was finished with his morning ritual, he followed the heavenly smell of pancakes into the kitchen, smiling softly at the angel who was diligently making breakfast. Sam sat at the table reading a newspaper while drinking coffee, looking up and nodding slightly. It was very quiet, and slightly tense in the room. Dean wondered just what happened between the two people closest to him, but decided to let it go for now. Last thing he wanted was yet another fight, and honestly, he wasn’t too sure how Sam would hold up when confronted with Castiel.

Dean beamed at said angel as he set a plate of food in front of him with a soft, “Good morning.”

Sam rolled his eyes unseen, folding up his newspaper and leaving the room. Dean followed him with his eyes, and shook his head before digging into his food, there was nothing that he could do about Sam’s issue except to ride it out and hope for the best. Besides, he was used to his pissy moods by now, who knew what set off his younger brother. It was like living with the fourteen year old version of Sam.

He smiled at the angel as he sat down across from him, “Thanks for breakfast, this is awesome.”

“It was no trouble,” He replied, “You need to keep up your strength and energy. That means eating a balanced diet.” At Dean’s questioning look he elaborated, “I couldn’t sleep last night, and Ellen had some books for you to read. I took the liberty.”

“Oh yeah? What else did you read?”

“Avoid greasy and spicy foods, and eat several small meals during the day. You should also keep crackers beside the bed every morning; it will help with morning sickness. Ellen brought you a bag of supplies; I suggest you start using the prenatal vitamins she packed.” He pushed the brown bag towards Dean, and didn’t notice as Dean suddenly paled. Suddenly, eating didn’t seem like such a good idea.

He opened a book that Dean didn’t realize was sitting there, perusing the pages with the utmost focus. Dean leaned his head down, covertly trying to read the title, gasping softly as the title proclaimed in all its unholy clarity, ‘What To Expect When You’re Expecting’. He slapped a hand over his mouth and ran up the stairs as quick as he possibly could.

* * *

Dean sat gingerly on the top porch steps next to Sam, wrapping his coat tighter for security, he still felt a little shaky after visiting the bathroom just a few minutes ago. They didn’t speak, five glorious minutes of blissful silence, until Sam let out a breath and folded up his newspaper, “I suppose you came out here to talk.”

Dean shrugged, “Maybe… but we don’t really **talk** much nowadays, do we?”

“True. I’m just…worried about you, Dean. Everything I say lately is just not coming out right.”

“Course, it didn’t help that you voiced some things that has been bothering me.”

Sam leaned back, “You’re worried that the angels planned this? That Cas is a part of it?”

Dean hugged his legs to his chest, “Yeah. I don’t like thinking it, but he has been manipulated before. He’s so trusting, and I’m scared that they either convinced him to do this, or that he just really doesn’t know. I really don’t know what to do, Sam.”

His younger brother nodded, “I didn’t mean to upset you, you know. I guess I just got mad because they keep screwing with you, they have all of this power over you, and now they tainted something that is…well, very…”

“Personal, let’s just go with personal.”

Sam nodded; a long paused stretched where they stared out into the junkyard quietly. Dean basked in the tentative peace between him and his brother, watching the birds flit from car to car. “Have you ever thought about…you know, taking care of it?”

Dean frowned, “What do you mean?” He cringed away from the tentacles of dread coursing through her stomach.

“Take care of it.” He paused. “You know what I mean.”

They both stood, and Sam grabbed his arm before Dean had a chance to run back into the house, “It’s still early in the pregnancy, Dean! You don’t need to be dealing with all of this right now. It’ll be quick; you won’t even have to tell-”

“No! Shut your fucking mouth!” He screeched; he flung Sam's hand off of his arm, wiping hia eyes furiously, “Why! Why do you keep going on about this like it’s some horrible thing!” He couldn’t believe his Sammy would ever voice **that** side of the argument.

Sam froze, all color draining from his face, “Oh my god, you really want to have a kid, you’re really going to go through with this.”

“Yeah Sam, I’m really going to go through with this.” Dean leaned against the porch railing, “I’ve…wanted this for a very long time, but…It just never-and I thought that maybe Ben-” Dean shook his head, and blinked away the moisture from his eyes, “Of course, it didn’t work out. Look Sammy, I’m terrified out of my mind, but this is-”

Sam sighed, “You of all people should understand how screwed up this whole situation is. What’s going to happen when you go back to hunting? What if the demons, hell, even the angels find out? You really think they are going to let you raise a child? You really think that you are going to be the exception out of our whole family; that you get to be the one who has a normal life?”

“What are you talking about? I’m carrying an **angel’s** baby, Sam. This goes way beyond normal.” Dean shook his head in dismay, “I honestly don’t know what’s going to happen when I have this baby. All that I know is that I want it, that it might bring us some hope, some kind of reason to fight the apocalypse **that** much harder.”

“I hope you’re right, dude. I hope this isn’t going to just blow up in our faces.”

* * *

Dean held the small picture of what he assumed was his and Castiel’s baby, currently it resembled a tiny dark spot, but in Dean’s opinion it was the cutest little nugget he’d ever seen. It was too soon to tell what gender the baby was, but he knew that he was five weeks along, and the baby was healthy. Really, that was all Dean cared about, that the baby was going to be ok.

Ellen almost burst into tears as they heard the baby’s heartbeat over the monitor, and Dean had to admit, he got a little choked up as well. Castiel had squeezed his shoulders in excitement; Dean was so thankful that the angel was there with him and Ellen. After that night Anna visited them, Castiel no longer left for any stretch of time, he stayed by Dean’s side . It irritated Sam to no end, but he wasn’t going to say anything to the angel to send him away just because his little brother had a problem.

Yeah, he understood why Sam was so against Dean having a baby; it was far too dangerous. He wasn’t allowed to go demon hunting, do any jobs, or anything remotely considered ‘fun’. Dean missed his manly body more and more but kept telling himself it will only be for a couple of months, and then they will figure out a way to change him back.

If they could change him back.

“Is that the baby?”

Dean smiled at Jo, “Yeah.” He handed her the little picture, his grin widening at the little sound of joy she emitted. “Too soon to tell what it is, though.”

“It’s so tiny!” She looked up through her lashes, then darted back to the picture, setting it down on the table after a few moments of quiet contemplation, “I’ve got to be honest, I’m kind of jealous.”

“You’ll have a baby someday, Jo. You’re still young. Hell, I didn’t even think I could **ever** be a father…er, mother...” He sighed, “You know what I mean.” She shook her head, “No, that’s not all why I’m jealous.” She studied the picture again, “I’m jealous of Castiel.”

Dean nodded in sudden understanding, “Yeah. That.” The next few minutes were spent in awkward silence, one unable to look at the other for any length of time.

“I mean,” Jo blurted, “I thought that you and I-”

“Yeah. I know.”

Dean bounced his knee under the table, wishing someone would walk into the kitchen, call his phone, something that would get him out of this **very** uncomfortable conversation. It wasn’t like he could go and drink a beer like he used to do to distract from the ill at ease vibe he usually felt in similar situations.

Although a cheeseburger didn’t sound half-bad right about now.

“You wanna get out of here for a while?”

Jo looked relieved, “Yes.”

Leaving a note, they jumped into the car and drove to a near-by diner. Dean was content to get out of the house for a while; Sam’s constant bad mood was oppressive, especially with Castiel being around. Bobby, Ellen and Castiel took it upon themselves to make sure that Dean was getting everything he needed, which meant constant supervision on their part.

He never realized how much of full time job it was, taking care of Dean Winchester.

“So, you wanted to get together?”

Jo huffed, “Well, before-”

“When were you going to tell me?”

She shrugged, “I guess whenever we were near each other, wasn’t a good time to bring it up.” She squinted at Dean, “So, Castiel?”

Dean grinned, “I know.” He chuckled, and then shook his head, “He’s so…sweet, and so strange. I think that’s why I fell for him, that and he doesn’t know anything about personal space.” He looked down into his ice water and smiled softly, “He makes me feel like a different person, Jo. I don’t have to pretend around him; I can be angry, emotional, anything, and he still loves me for it. I don’t have to have all of the answers, or be the strong one all the time. I don’t have to be **Dean Winchester** , I can just be Dean.” He looked up to see Jo smiling at him fondly, and blushed, “What?”

“He’s really good for you. I’m glad, is all.” Her smile faded and she looked away.

Dean reached over and touched her hand, “I’m sorry this didn’t work out between us. You are a really great person, it’s just-”

She nodded and wiped her eyes, “I know. I get it, believe me. It’s just hard to hear that the guy you have strong feelings for is in love with another guy.” She paused and added, “You know what I mean.”

Dean nodded, “I know I’m the last person that you want to hear this from Jo, but its better this way, us not being together. You are a great person, but I was just… I wouldn’t have been right for you. You need someone…whole and normal. You are better off finding a guy that doesn’t know anything about the other side to this world, someone you can settle down with. You’re better than this life.”

She shook her head, “I wish I could believe that. Look, I get what you are saying, and maybe I would be better off with another guy, someone different, but all I think about is you. What we could have been like together. It’s just going to take some time getting over you.” She looked behind Dean and paled, “Well, he looks mighty angry.”

Dean frowned and turned in his seat, to see Castiel standing a few feet away looking disheveled and disgruntled. Castiel’s eyes alighted on the two women seated in the booth and nodded sharply, walking determinedly towards them. As he reached the booth, Dean slid in his seat to allow him to sit down, “Do you have any idea how worried I was?”

“I left a note.”

His lips pursed, “Yes, but just saying ‘going out to eat, will be back soon’ does not constitute you telling us **exactly** where you are. You didn’t bring your phone, what if something happened to you? How would we be able to find you?”

Dean reared back, “You don’t have to yell at me!”

Castiel frowned, “I’m not yelling, I have been concerned. This is the third diner I have been in to find you.”

“So just because I wanted to leave the house for a little while, you have to flip out and hunt me down?!”

Castiel drew back and glanced at the other patrons who were taking an interest in their conversation, “I don’t think this is the best place to talk about this, Dean.”

“No, this is the perfect place to ‘talk about this’. I have been cooped up in that house for **weeks** Cas, while you get to gallivant everywhere you want. So I take a little time out of my day for some ‘me’ time to go out with Jo, and you have to track me down and bring me home like a child?”

“Please calm down, I just-”

“Don’t you tell me to calm down!” He pushed him out of the booth, “You don’t own me, Cas! There’s no ring on this finger!”

He paused, realizing how quiet the diner had become, and how many people were looking in on the scene he just created, not to mention what he said in the first place. It was entirely possible that Dean was going crazy, it would explain a lot of things. Castiel looked at him in surprise while gripping the table he was almost sitting on, having sprawled there in surprise as she shoved him out of the booth. Jo looked at both of them, both parts amused and horrified, hands delicately placed on the table. Dean paled, gorge rising in his throat, and promptly hurried to the bathroom before he embarrassed himself any further. Castiel hurried after him, “Dean, wait!”

Jo looked over the patrons and raised her hand, “Check please.”

* * *

He clutched the sink, trying so hard to not burst into tears or throw up, Ellen told him about the hormones, but Jesus, this was nuts. He moved his face away as he heard the door to the bathroom open, then shut, “You’re not supposed to be in here.” A tiny sound escaped his throat as he felt Castiel’s hand on his shoulder, “God, I’m such a... bitch. I can’t believe I did that!” His shoulders shook as a few sobs escaped and buried his face in his neck as Cas swiftly pulled him into his arms, “I’m sorry!”

“Shh.” He crooned softly, “I have read that this happens, it’s natural. You do not need to apologize to me, Dean.”

“I know, but I freaked out on you and you were just trying to look out for me-”

Castiel pulled back a little and brushed a locked of hair behind Dean's ear, “None of that. Let’s just stay here for a while, calm down, go home, and relax if that will be acceptable.”

Dean sniffed and smiled as he wiped his face, “Yeah that sounds good. Thanks, Cas.”

He gave Dean a small smile, and gave him a soft peck on the lips.

They got back to Bobby’s with little fuss, Castiel hurrying Dean out of the diner and murmuring apologies to the assorted patrons under his breath. Jo drove the Impala back, Castiel held Dean in the backseat, listening to the slow beat of the tires on the asphalt. Normally, Dean would have had a problem with anyone but himself driving his baby, but he felt too damn tired to voice any protest; just contented himself with burrowing into Castiel’s side, breathing in his scent and listening to the steady drum of his heartbeat to lull him to sleep.

When he next came to, he was nestled in bed, Castiel at her side, running his hands smoothly through Dean's hair. The house was quiet, there were no soft footsteps, nor any sound of inhabitance other than their own.

“Bobby and your brother felt that we needed some time alone.” Dean’s mouth stretched into a wide grin, and he relaxed further into his side.

“I bet this is the last thing you want to be doing right now, lying in bed.”

“Contrary to your belief, there is no place I would rather be at this moment. Besides, we all need the rest after the past couple of days.”

“True, you have been looking a little worn-down.”

He snorted as Castiel lightly swatted his behind, “That is not what I meant, although it feels good to just lay down and not have to think about anything.”

“Some would call that Sloth.” Dean frowned as he heard his cell phone ringing, leaning over to answer it, “Hello?” He sat up in an instant, all the color drained from his face, “This is Dean’s sister, he can’t come to the phone, can I ask who is calling?”

Castiel shot her a concerned look, and he motioned for him to wait, “It’s a long story, but I’m sorry, Dean can’t come to the phone. What can I help you with?” She listened to the speaker, “I see. Don’t worry; we will be there as soon as we can. Just make sure to lock your doors, line your windows and doors in salt, ok? Yeah, I know, it’s a precaution. Stay together.”

He hung up the phone and rubbed his eyes, “That was Lisa.” Dean sighed, “Ben and her, they’re being watched.”

“By whom?”

He shot him a look, “She said, ‘Some old guy in a suit.’ She said there were others, Ben’s being followed home from school. They always stay some distance away, never talk to them, but every time they are outside someone’s always staring at them.” He rubbed his stomach in sudden dread, “I think I might know what’s going on.” He turned to Castiel with a stricken look on his face, “I think Zachariah and the angels are after Ben.”

* * *

Ben looked outside his window through a crack in the curtains, looking for anyone that could be watching their house at this time in the morning. Granted, it was seven, but he doubted the weirdos looking for them slept in from their stalking. He looked back to his alarm clock, his mom would be walking up the steps soon to wake him up, tell him to get ready for school. So he had only a few minutes to figure out how to competently lie to his mom to get out of leaving the house.

She might have thought she was talking on the phone alone to Dean’s sister, but she was totally wrong. He picked up the phone in her room that she shared with her new boyfriend, Rob, listening in to their conversation. Something about Dean’s sister bothered Ben, like she was lying to them or something, which worried the boy. He was hoping he could hear Dean’s voice; it had been two years since he saw the older guy, he knew without a doubt that he was Ben’s father. No matter what his mom said to the contrary, he knew.

He shook his head, time to put his plan into action. He wished he had the presence of mind to wake up at the crack of dawn, while they were still sleeping, so that he could fake puking and get them while they were too tired and groggy to ask any questions.

He already started the first part of his plan last night, picking at his food at dinner, and when questioned, he claimed he ‘wasn’t feeling well’. Rob wasn’t entirely sure if the young boy was playing with them or not, but since he never had kids before, he didn’t want to pass judgment. Lisa felt his head, and claimed he was feeling a bit warm, which was mostly due to the fact that he ran laps out in their yard before they came home from work, and that he was wearing at least three layers. He didn’t tell her that of course, what she didn’t know wouldn’t hurt her.

He even started on his homework, waving off dessert, which worried his mother to no end, Benjamin Isaac Braeden never passed up dessert. Not for anything. Periodically, he would duck his head down, rubbing at his neck or forehead wearily. He worried if he was spreading it on a little too thick, but from the concerned look on their faces, he knew he should be winning an Oscar for this.

He decided at eight o’clock to turn in, it was pretty early for him, at least two hours before his usual bedtime, and even then he would wheedle to stay up a bit longer. He put his books and homework away tiredly, his mom taking over after a few minutes and sending him up to bed. He trudged up the steps and flopped into bed fully clothed. She came up a few minutes later, taking off his shoes and jeans, tucking him in with a kiss to his cheek.

Now as he heard her light footsteps approaching steadily towards his shut door, he steeled himself for the real acting to begin. He launched himself into bed, pulling the covers up to his chin, breathing out of his mouth. He rubbed his forehead and cheeks roughly, turning them bright red and hot.

As she opened the door, he blinked up at her groggily, “Mom?”

She leaned on the door frame, “Still not feeling well, baby?”

“Not a baby,” He mumbled.

She smiled and walked into his room to sit at the edge of the bed, “I don’t think you should go to school today, you’re looking pretty flushed.”

“Billy Masterson coughed on me at recess yesterday. I think he got me sick.”

She nodded, “He probably did. If you still aren’t feeling well by the time Rob gets home today, we should bring you to the doctor.”

He frowned, “Aren’t you going to work too?”

“Well, not if you are sick, honey. I’m not leaving you alone at home.”

“I can take care of myself, mom. It’s just a little bug; I’m going to be okay.”

Her lips thinned in thought, “I don’t think that will be a good idea to leave you here alone, Ben. I’ll just be downstairs if you need anything, okay?”

He nodded in reluctance, “Okay.”

He stayed in bed for the better part of the morning and afternoon, reading some comics, and even finishing his homework. He had to do something to keep himself busy, and to make sure his mother didn’t suspect anything was amiss, he wasn’t about to blow it.

Near the late afternoon, after he took a nap and had chicken noodle soup for lunch, he knew something was amiss. It was altogether too quiet; he couldn’t even hear the birds chirping. He got out of bed and carefully looked out the window, jumping back as he saw a man in a black suit across the street staring right at him. His heart hammered in his chest, and he ran to his bedroom door, listening for anything that he would need to call 911 for.

He gasped as he heard a sharp knock at the door, and his mother calling out, he willed her to not answer. Unfortunately, no one was listening to his fervent prayers as he heard the door slowly open, muffled voices talking. He slowly eased his door open, crawling on his hands and knees to peak through the banister of the stairs at who was at the door.

It was the man in a dark suit. He looked a little older, a little paunchy, and really weird. He seemed so intent on talking to his mother, not noticing as Ben backed up and hurried to his mother’s room. He shut the door quietly; his breath coming out in pants, the man freaked him out. He picked up his mother’s phone and a distressed sound escaped his throat as all he heard was static coming out from the receiver. He looked around for a cell phone, a walkie-talkie, anything that could give him access to the outside world. He was starting to regret staying home from school, simply for the fact that he could have escaped there easily and disappeared in the town long enough to get him and his mother out of there.

Where they would go, he had no idea, but he knew that Dean would have done the same thing in his situation, and that was good enough for Ben. He grabbed his mother’s cell, and scrolled through all of her contacts. Surprisingly, Dean was in the emergency contacts list, saving him some precious time. Already he could hear raised voices downstairs, and knew it would only be a matter of time before the guy gained entry. He pressed the ‘send’ button with a sweaty hand, ducking into her closet to hide should the old guy get past his mother.

He listened to the ringer, nearly shaking with fear. Hell, he was just a little boy; he’d never had to deal with something like this, save that one time with the changelings. He sighed in relief as the call was answered.

“This is Dean’s phone,” said an unfamiliar deep voice.

“Hi, this is Ben. I need to talk to Dean.”

He heard a higher pitched voice in the background, clearly barking orders, “I’m sorry, he can’t come to the phone. We know your situation Ben, we will be there very soon.”

He whimpered in relief, “Okay. Please hurry, he’s at the door, and I think they’re arguing.”He gasped as he heard heavy footsteps ascending the stairs, he whispered frantically, “He’s coming up the stairs! Please, you **have** to get here **now**!”

“Dean, stop the car now, we have to go another way,” He heard the growling voice on the other end faintly, and he nearly screamed in rage.

“No! Don’t stop the car! Let me talk to Dean, **now**!”

“Ben,” He heard a rough female voice start consolingly, “Just stay calm, okay? Stay hidden, and no matter what you do, do not leave your hiding place okay? If anything happens between now and when we get there, you call the police, you call 9-1-1, alright?”

Ben nodded, not caring that he didn’t get to talk to Dean himself, he needed to concentrate on driving anyway, “O-Okay.”

“That’s good boy, you’re being very brave right now, I’m proud of you. Now, I need you to hang up the phone and dial 9-1-1, but don’t press send ok?”

“Okay.” He heard the other end die, and fumbled with the buttons, but did as he was told.

He froze as he heard the door to his parents’ bedroom creak open, the slowly padding footsteps stopping in the middle of the room. He scooted to the back of the closet, not stopping until his butt hit the wall. He heard a deep sigh, the person turned, and walked out of the room.

He slumped in relief, waiting a few minutes for the man to actually get further away before Ben opened the closet door. His hands shook as he turned the knob almost silently; every joint trembling in fear as he slowly crept out. He looked around, seeing no one, and padded to the cracked open door.

He listened for any sound, the television in their living room still going strong, but he couldn’t hear his mother at all. He looked down at the phone, looked back to the door, and then made his decision. He wasn’t going to leave his mom with that weirdo, even though he was scared, he wasn’t going to just abandon her. He nodded, and slipped the phone into his back pocket, then opened the door to enter the hallway. He made a few steps into the hallway before a hand grabbed his shoulder tightly, whirling him around to face the man that had been stalking them for weeks. He grinned, his white teeth looking almost shark-like coupled with the cold, dark eyes.

“Hello Ben.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Is it just me," He addressed to the whole room, "or am I getting fat as hell?"

Chapter Three

Ben gasped in terror, the man's eyes were filled with nothing but malice and fanatical glee, and the young man wondered what he wanted with him. His hand tightened on his skinny shoulder, fingertips digging cruelly into the soft tissue, and Ben flinched at the white hot pain he caused. He panted, looking around for anything to hit him with, anything that could possibly help him.

"Do not fear Ben, I won't hurt you. See, I **can't** hurt you, you are too precious to us to harm in any way. Know why?"

Ben's eyes darted from side to side, great, he was dealing with one of **those** people. His eyes caught the flash of movement just behind Zachariah, revealing the slight form of a guy in a khaki trench coat and dark suit. He gulped, decided to stall for time, "No, I don't know. Why don't you tell me?"

The older man's eyes flashed, "You are going to stop the apocalypse."

The man behind the fanatic lifted an iron poker from his mother's fireplace, his lips thinning to a white line of anger, and then swiftly swung it down between his neck and shoulder with a solid thunk. Instead of crumpling to the floor, the man grunted slightly and turned his attention to his attacker, "Castiel, what a surprise to see you here."

Castiel glanced from the older man to Ben, seemed to focus on the little boy’s eyes for a split second before settling back on the other man, “He’s just a boy, Zachariah. There will be nothing left if he becomes the vessel. I thought we were above this.”

Zachariah scoffed, “You have done worse than this, don’t deny it. If **this boy** is what it takes to bring Michael forth, then so be it!” He lashed out, striking Ben’s savior across the face, sending the leaner body into the wall, plaster cracking underneath the weight. Castiel turned and grabbed Zachariah’s hand swiftly as he tried to punch him through the wall, quickly jabbing him in the throat. Zachariah then kneed him in the stomach and Castiel folded to the floor, getting a kick to the face for his trouble. He landed on his back, skidding back a few inches from the fore of the blow, nose and mouth bleeding profusely.

“This is what we have come to? Brawling, like these animals?”

Castiel panted, stumbling back to his feet, eyes trained on Zachariah, “Ben, you must run. Get to Dean.”

Ben gasped, backing up slowly as Zachariah’s attention focused on the young boy. Castiel launched himself at the clearly older man, hands unerringly finding the soft spot in his throat. It wouldn’t kill him, but it would serve to distract Zachariah enough so that Ben could get away safely. He pushed his thumbs into that spot with all his strength, glancing back over his shoulder to see the little boy frozen on the spot, and yelled, “Run Ben!”

Ben’s eyes darted to Castiel, “But, mom-”

_There is nothing we can do for your mother now, Ben. Run! Run hard, run fast, and don’t stop until you see the Impala. Tell Dean to drive to Bobby’s, and don’t stop. Go now!_

Ben supposed he should be a little weirded-out that he could hear a voice in his head, not to mention the voice being the same one of the guy that just **popped** up in his hallway, but he wasn’t going to look a gift horse in the mouth, he turned and launched himself down the stairs, skidding to a halt at the entranceway where the crumpled form of his mother’s body greeted him. His heart froze, and tears pricked at his eyes, and he wanted nothing more than to go back up the stairs and help the other man kill Zachariah. He shook his head hard, wiping away the tears that tracked down his face with his sleeve, he couldn’t afford to fall apart now, later, and when he and Dean were safe was when he could give voice to the grief welling inside his chest.

He ran out the door, unconcerned with closing it, because it wasn’t like he was going to be going back there anytime soon. He ran as fast as he could, his stocking feet pounding on the asphalt, he couldn’t feel the little flashes of pain as pebbles bit into the sensitive flesh of his feet. He tripped momentarily, his hands catching him as he fell, and he cried out as the rough ground tearing up his palms. His chest clenched as he lost precious moments for his escape.

He didn’t look back, not once, not even as he fell. He almost wept as he saw the sleek black paint of the Impala rounding the corner, running out in the middle of the nearly deserted road and waving his arms. The tires screeched as the car stopped suddenly, the driver’s side door opening to reveal a dark haired woman. Her eyes widened, running towards him and leaving the door wide open. She fell to her knee as she wrapped the little boy in her arms, shaking. Ben shoved his face into her neck, panting and trembling, trying not to sob. He felt a slight tug, and then he was being carried to the car, gently deposited in the front seat and buckled.

He stared out the window through bleary eyes, breath hitching in his chest. She slid behind the steering wheel and started the car. Ben twitched, “He said we have to get to Bobby’s. Don’t stop.”

She let out a shaky breath, “Right.”

He looked over at her, wondering just who she was. Her hair was in a messy ponytail, it was light brown and wavy, curling around her face and neck. She had fine lines winging from the corners of her bright green eyes, freckles dancing across her face. Her lips were tightly compressed, trembling ever so slightly as she yanked the steering wheel to the side, making a very illegal turn and gunning it the other way.

He could only assume that she was related to Dean, it was the way she carried herself, and the way she looked. She could have been his sister, maybe a twin. He looked away as her eyes filled, sniffing as she wiped her eyes roughly with the sleeve of her military jacket. “He’s going to be okay.” She said roughly.

The way she growled, it sounded just like Dean, and his chin trembled with the need to see him, for him to tell Ben that everything was going to be okay. Though it never will again, that fanatic erased everything that was Benjamin Isaac Braeden in just one sunny Wednesday afternoon. He stared outside the window, at the scenery whizzing by, wondering where this was going to end. Was he going to turn out like that Spanish guy in that movie he and his mother watched just a few nights ago, training himself to be a killer, constantly searching for the man that destroyed his life? Was his life going to be filled with pain, death and revenge? Right now, it was all he could think of.

* * *

They didn’t see as every window in Ben’s house shone like the sun, an instant later the street was showered in broken glass. The cars that lined that very same street shrilly rang out their displeasure, and off in the distance, a siren could be heard.

There were no birds.

There was no breeze.

There was nothing.

* * *

They arrived at Bobby's in the middle of the night, Dean exhausted and Ben unconscious in the passenger seat. He pushed every emotion down for now, there were other things, other people to take care of now, and he couldn’t afford to lose his shit now. He got out of the car and walked around the hood, taking a deep breath to bolster his nerves. He unbuckled Ben, and gently carried him to the house as Sam and Ellen came out to greet him. He silently climbed the porch steps and stepped between the two, tenderly setting the sleeping form on the couch. He brushed back his hair, stroking the chestnut spikes, sniffing lightly at seeing the slight frown on his face.

Dean's eyes focused on his stocking feet, just now noticing the rust-colored stains of dried blood, letting out a little sob. The poor thing was bleeding the whole time and he didn’t notice, just kept driving and focusing on his own pain. He squeezed his eyes shut momentarily and hustled to the kitchen to get a pot of warm water. As he gathered his supplies: antibacterial cream, bandages, and a fresh pair of socks, he set to work on the little feet. He started by soaking the socks in warm water to loosen the crusted material away from the wounds. After gently pulling the soiled socks off, he inspected the damage, which wasn't as bad as it could have been, and most likely hurt like hell. She cleaned the damaged feet, working out the gravel and little pebbles that found their way into his wounds, and dried them carefully. He diligently slathered the ointment on Ben's feet, making sure he didn’t miss any little cut, and bandaged them lightly, sliding the socks on his small feet.

Ben wrapped snugly in a blanket found on the back of the couch, and he sighed as he tugged it tighter under his chin. Dean's eyes watered, just thinking about how close that was, if they were any later... He scrubbed her eyes furiously; it was time for him to get to work.

He stood and turned around to see his family gazing back at him in concern. Sam looked at Bobby, then Ellen, and stepped forward, “Where’s Cas?”

Dean’s face hardened, blinking hard as he pushed past his brother to reach the kitchen. If he opened his mouth at this point, there was no telling what would come out. As he looked around the kitchen, his chest clenching with the effort to keep everything in, he suddenly just stopped. He looked outside unseeing, swaying ever so slightly, every muscle relaxing the slightest bit. As if in a daze, he walked over to a bucket of paint he'd seen Bobby use that night Castiel came to them, he never noticed that pail sitting there the whole time he had stayed in that house since that night, and he guessed it was only fitting as he used it now.

Dean crouched down and grabbed the handle, and as he walked through the kitchen door, he grabbed a brush sitting on a table surrounded by other odds and ends. He didn’t hear as they called to him in concern, he had a job to do, and he was going to finish it. He would be damned if any other angel stepped foot in that house, if Castiel couldn’t any longer. He knew he wasn't that lucky for everything so far to happen now, and he would get to keep the angel with him.

He breathed easily as he dipped the brush into the black paint, swirling the brush over the outside of the house in swirls and shapes he couldn’t begin to decipher. Dean didn’t know what or who was working through him, but he could only thank them as he felt the sigils casting a protective net across the space he was working in. He knew they were powerful; they hummed as they were finished, and if he cared to watch them, they slowly faded into the wall.

His head snapped to the side as he felt Sam’s hand wrap tightly around his wrist, “Just what the hell do you think you’re doing, Dean?”

He growled inhumanely, jerking his wrist back with a strength his younger brother never knew he possessed, and turned back to his work in single minded focus. Sam made a vain attempt to try again to stop Dean; they had to know what was going on and what the hell he was doing, but Bobby stopedp him, shaking his head ‘no’ when he tried to protest. They watched as Dean continued to fortify the house with a single-minded focus they only saw when he was cleaning a gun or eating a cheeseburger.

As soon as he finished, the pail and brush were unceremoniously dropped to the ground, he walked silently back into the house, checked Ben while he slept, and trudged up the stairs. He shut the bathroom door firmly behind him, and turned the shower on. He blinked slowly at his disheveled image in the mirror, eyes slowly tearing as his heart started to shatter into a million pieces.

_”What are you doing Cas?! We got to get to Ben, don’t leave the car!”_

_“That’s what I’m doing Dean,” He said calmly, his hand on the handle, “I will get him to safety.”_

_“Don’t you leave me. You don’t know what you are getting into!”_

_Castiel turned to him, leaning forward and gently brushing his cheek, “I’ll come back to you. I promise.”_

_With that, he left the car in the blink of an eye. Dean gritted his teeth and turned his attention back on the road as the light turned green. He hoped Castiel was right, for the sake of everything he'd come to believe in, the angel had better be right._

He let out a broken sound, falling to his knees, squeezing his eyes shut in pain. He wrapped her arms across his stomach, hugging the pain and hurt in. Cas couldn’t have left, he couldn’t just be gone. He knew that if Castiel stood between Dean and choosing Michael, the other angel wouldn’t stand a chance against Zachariah. If he was willing to try to coerce a child into his fiendish plan, and kill a woman in cold blood- for that would be the only way the angel would be able to get that close to Ben- there was no hope that Castiel would have survived. He thought Dean didn’t notice just how much he had weakened; and that was what killed her that much more, the fact that even though she vowed to make sure Cas didn’t become what he did in just five years, he fell just the same. Whether the angel knew or not, Dean couldn’t guess.

He curled against the wall, shaking with the force of his tears, wishing that he could have said something to him that was better than an insult. The angel had been around for a millennia, what did Dean know about what Castiel could do in the first place? He wanted to believe that he got out safely; he wanted to just assume that Castiel was okay and just holding up somewhere safe for a while.

He squeezed her eyes shut, and God he knew better than to get that close to someone. Their family was cursed, there was no way around it, there was no hope for the Winchester’s loved ones. He wanted to forget everything; pretend it was all just a dream, wishful thinking his mind was trying to deal with. Dean would wake up, be in his old body, and heavily hung over.

He sniffed and wiped his face roughly as he heard a knock at the door, pulling the door open to reveal Sam standing there. His little brother's brow furrowed at Dean's tear-streaked face, and pulled him into his arms without a second thought. He let Dean scream, rail against his chest, pounding his little fists into any part of his body he could reach. All he did was hold Dean, chin resting against the top of his hair, and blinked away his own tears.

* * *

Ben woke the very next day, the sunlight warming his face and the birds in the distance waking him with their morning song. He blinked rapidly, rubbing his eyes as he sat up from his warm nest on the couch. His brow furrowed.

Couch?

He looked around his unfamiliar surroundings in trepidation, he had hoped he knew the people who lived in this house, or this was going to turn into one horrible morning. Then, with a jolt that nearly stopped his heart, he remembered. His mother was dead, killed by some weird guy in a suit, blathering on about how he was going to stop the apocalypse. How he was attacked by another weird guy in a suit, who seemed to know Dean, or at least his family. They drove for miles, reaching a place Ben never thought he would actually visit unless he counted the few short months where he and his class were going on a field trip to Mount Rushmore. His mother didn’t get around to signing his permission slip, so he guessed he wasn’t going to be going there any time soon. Not that he really cared one way or another.

He sighed, shoulders hunching slightly, wished this was some terrible nightmare and he’d wake up in his bed while his mom made him breakfast downstairs, singing a little off-key to whatever music was playing in the background. He took a deep breath, brow furrowing as he smelled bacon.

He followed his nose to the kitchen, stepping gingerly as his bandaged feet hit the floor. He lurked at the doorway, unwilling to disturb the figure in front of the stove, humming softly to a country song playing on the radio. She rocked back and forth on her feet, cursing softly as the bacon was unwilling to flip.

“Son of a bitch!” She yelped as some grease popped, grabbing her bare forearm.

“Here, just go sit down, I can handle this.” Sam said, and Ben sighed in relief that he wasn’t going to be alone with this unknown person. The same unknown person that saved his life and seem so much like Dean, but nevertheless, the time spent in each other’s company without any distraction would have been awkward.

He stepped further into the kitchen, waving slightly as the woman’s face alighted on him, “Hey.”

She gave him a short nod, “Hey yourself. How’re your feet?”

Ben shrugged as he sat down at the table across from her, “They’re okay. Thanks.”

“No problem, I’m sure they hurt like-” She stopped herself as Sam coughed a warning, and she rolled her eyes, “Heck.”

“Hey Ben,” Sam turned around with two plates of food, “You hungry? I made more than I should have.”

He considered his stomach for a moment, he wasn’t too sure the empty feeling would go away by eating anything, but at least it would keep his strength up, “Yeah sure.”

Dean smiled, “You’re in luck, Sammy here can cook a mean meal when he puts his mind to it.”

As Sam set the food down in front of the little boy, Dean watched as he nervously took the fork and took a careful bite. It must have been good, for he cleared half of the plate in record time. He shook his head as Sam waved the other plate under his nose, “Nah, I’m not hungry.”

“You need to eat.”

“Just get me some toast then, my stomach’s queasy.” Sam huffed and sat the other plate down, turned back to the counter to do as Dean requested. It was silent in the kitchen for a time, Ben ate his breakfast, and Dean read the paper, occasionally sipping from a glass of orange juice. The easy domesticity unnerved Ben, he looked around and his brow furrowed, “Where’s Dean?”

Sam froze, and Dean kept her eyes on the paper, and just when Ben was going to ask again, Sam asked quietly, “How do you want to answer this one?”

“Tell him the truth I guess.” He answered. He sighed and set the paper down, resting his elbows on the table and threaded his fingers together. He leaned down and looked Ben in the eye, “Hey, Ben. It’s me, Dean.”

Ben frowned, then burst out laughing, “Yeah right, good one. Seriously, where is he?” When he noticed that neither one of the adults were joining in with his laughter, he sobered, “You’re not joking. **You’re** really Dean?”

The woman across him nodded solemnly, and if he wanted to be honest, there was a whole hell of a lot of Dean in her face. The boy shrugged, “I guess that’s cool. Billy Masterson’s cousin had a change ‘cause he didn’t want to be a dude anymore. Kinda weird if you ask me, but I guess you have your reasons.”

Dean frowned, “Whoa um….Not really what happened there. To me, that is.”

Ben shrugged, “Hey man, I’m not judging.”

Dean glared daggers at his brothers back when he heard him snort rather loudly. His shoulders shook and his hands gripped the counter for dear life. Dean growled, “I didn’t get a sex change! I like being a guy. It was Zachariah that did this.”

At the mention of the angel, Ben’s openly-smiling face shuttered close, “Oh.”

Dean sighed and moved closer to the boy, and put his arm around his shoulder, “He’s going to pay for this, Ben. I don’t know how, but we’ll get him.”

Ben sniffed, and snuggled closer into his side, “I wish this didn’t happen.”

He rubbed his arm, “I know, buddy. I know.” He clutched his hands, “Look, I know it’s not much, but will you stay with us? We’ll fix you up a room, take care of each other. It’s not the same, I know-”

He trailed off as Ben launched himself in his arms, shaking and holding him tightly around his waist. Dean sniffed and drew his arms around his frail frame, he never thought things were going to end up like this, and he wished it was through another way. He stroked his hair, gently rocking him as he calmed down. There was no way he could replace the people that Ben had lost, _all because of Dean_ was the thought he refused to think of at the moment, but he was going to try his damndest to give him at least a half-way normal life.

He closed his eyes, and hoped he was doing the right thing.

* * *

Two weeks had gone by, in such time they refurbished a room across the hall from Dean’s for Ben, and Dean finally had the opportunity to teach someone else that would appreciate it, the fine art of fixing the Impala. It went surprisingly smoothly, it gave them both something to do, something to focus on other than the gaping maw of grief they both felt. Dean had told Ben about the pregnancy over teaching him about how to properly change oil in the car, which he had taken surprisingly well. Dean never asked why, and Ben never elaborated on the subject, the day passed smoothly from there on out. The days were easy to deal with; Dean and Ben were surrounded by a core net of people that loved them, each wanting to do their part in taking care of the two shattered souls.

The nights, however, were a different story.

Dean would lay in bed, wide awake, staring up at the ceiling. He was too awake to close his eyes, too afraid of what he would see if he dreamed, but he was too damn tired to stay awake. He would look outside the window listlessly, hoping to see a flash of...something, anything of Castiel’s. He had taken to ghosting around the house while everyone was asleep, cleaning, making any repairs that he could find. Bobby’s house never looked so well taken care of, one thing the older man was glad of, but still concerned about Dean's welfare to really take any pleasure out of having a clean house.

Finally, Bobby had enough, confining Dean to the couch to take some much needed rest, all in sight of the older man of course. He didn’t trust him to rest on his own, if he did; there was no telling what would come of his sleepless wanderings. He lay on his back, propped up on a mountain of pillows, eating a bowl of popcorn and watching a movie. It was an idea of Ben's and he figured that humoring the little boy was best. He set the bowl down and lightly scratched his belly, frowning slightly. He looked down in horror as he noticed how rounded it was, freakishly so in his opinion, and made a face.

“Is it just me,” He addressed to the whole room, “Or am I getting fat as hell?”

Sam shut the book he was reading, sharing a look with Bobby. Ben looked over his shoulder from his position on the floor, warning the two men with wide eyes. Dean shifted, looking at his belly from different angles, poking it every few minutes.

“Um...” Sam coughed, ignoring Ben’s panicked arm waving, “No....you’re pregnant, dude. It happens.”

Bobby griped the bridge of his nose, sighing despondently. Ben flopped down, covering his head with his arms, and muttering, “God, you suck out loud.”

“What happens?”

Bobby and Ben froze, the air was tense and thick enough to cut with a butter knife. It was dangerous territory Sam was crossing, and one would think that with as much time as he spent as a hunter, he would have smelled that trap a mile away.

No one accused Sam of being particularly observant.

“You know, uh...” Sam cast his gaze around for any help, noticing in dismay as Ben and Bobby booked it about half a minute ago, to Lord only knew where, “Your belly is going to get a bit bigger. It happens.”

“So you’re saying its big now?”

“No, that’s not what I’m saying.”

“So what are you saying, then?”

“I’m saying...” He searched the room for any safe topic, and the Lord must have listened to his prayers, Ellen stood in the doorway between the kitchen and living room, “Ellen’s here! Hey Ellen! How are ya?”

She threw him a look before addressing Dean, “You ready for your doctor’s appointment, or do you want to keep screwing with your brother some more?”

“Sure! I’ll take cold and slimy stuff on my body any day over sitting around on my ass.” He stopped in the middle of the room, “That totally didn’t come out right.”

* * *

The boys were gathered around the kitchen table, Jo was making dinner, as Ellen and Dean walked into the house a few hours later. Ellen was fighting the smile that threatened to stretch across her face, and Dean looked shell-shocked as he sat down at the table silently, tossing the new ultrasound picture on the table. Bobby and Sam both made a grab for it, Sam yanking his hand back with a hiss as the older hunter swatted him sharply on the knuckles.

His eyes widened as he looked the little black and white picture over, “Am I seeing what I think I’m seeing?”

“Oh yeah.” Dean replied absently, poking at the tabletop.

“What, what is it?” Sam questioned. “Is there something wrong with the baby?”

“Bab **ies**.”

“What?!”

“Exactly what he said, Sam.” Bobby handed over the picture, “Dean’s having twins.”

“No freaking way.” He breathed as he studied the picture, “Did the doctor say what kind?”

“Is there a difference?” Ben shrugged.

“Identical twins are two babies from one egg, and they are the same gender, looking exactly the same,” Ellen informed them calmly, the same information the doctor had given them. “Fraternal twins are two babies from separate eggs, and they can be different gender and sharing some characteristics.”

Ben tugged on Sam’s sleeve, “I wanna see.” He settled back in his chair, cradling the picture in his little hands. Dean scooted closer to him, looking over his shoulder.

“So what kind is Dean having?” Sam asked.

Dean took a deep breath, “Identical.”

“Whoa.”

“Tell me about it.”

“So how did you not know of this before?”

“I guess one of these little tadpoles was hiding behind the other one, it’s easy to mistake.”

Sam nodded, still a little stunned, “Do you know what you are having yet?”

“Way too soon to tell that, though I guess in a few months we’ll know.” Dean slung his arm around Ben, looking at the picture along with him.

Dinner was spent quietly; the picture was passed from person to person, until the image of the new little lives were lodged thoroughly into their minds. Dean turned in early that night, unable to keep up with the ooh’s and ahh’s any longer. It was times like these that he ached for Castiel. It had only been a few weeks since he disappeared, and though he thought he was dead, Dean hoped that he would just pop up like he did the last time when he was attacked by the archangels. He stroked his slightly rounded belly, hoping against hope that he survived, that he would somehow find a way back home.

* * *

Jo sighed as she slipped behind the wheel, it was starting. Ellen had told them it would happen, she just wasn’t sure exactly when. Dean had started to crave some pretty far-out stuff, things he wouldn’t have even touched when he was in his old body. First it started out small, chips mixed into tuna fish sandwich makings, lots of fruit, lots of vegetables; but this one took the cake.

Icee’s with hot sauce.

When she sat down at the table after getting gas with the biggest cup of red icee Jo had ever seen, no one thought anything of it. Until she reached into the refrigerator and pulled out the hot sauce, shaking a few drops into the drink, mixed it up and took a big gulp.

Sam made a disgusted face, “That is so unholy.”

“What?” She asked, spoon-straw still in her mouth, “Don’t knock ‘til you try it Sammy.”

“I wouldn’t touch that, even if you told me it would cure cancer. That is just wrong.”

Dean rolled her eyes and grinned at Ben, “Wanna try it?”

Ben considered the cup for a moment, then made a face, “I don’t know.”

“I’ll give you a dollar.”

Ben snorted, “Yeah, I’m ten, I wasn’t born yesterday. Ten bucks.”

“Yeah right! Five.”

“Nine.”

“Five.”

“Ok, seven.”

“You’ll get five.”

He shrugged, “Okay.” He carefully held the cup as Dean slid it over to him, watching as both grownups stared at him, Sam in horror, and Dean in interested amusement. He fought the laughter bubbling in his chest, if it was gross, he didn’t want to throw it back up because it went down the wrong pipe. He glared at Dean at the last second, throwing out his hand, “Shake on it.”

Dean chuckled and shook his hand, “You’re on.”

Ben shifted in his chair, and carefully mouthed the straw; he didn’t really care about cooties at this point. He took the tiniest sip, and didn’t really taste anything except the cold refreshing taste of the cherry ice, until he kept sucking, then the fiery hot of the sauce burst against his tongue, mixing with the sweetness of the cherry.

He took another swig, then gave it back, “It’s not that bad, pretty good actually.”

Sam squinted at the two across from him, “You guys are sick.”

They both turned to Jo, who up until now remained silent, and Dean asked, “Wanna try it?”

She shrugged, and took a swig, and considered the taste for a moment, “Yeah, that’s really gross.” Looking at their crestfallen expression she chuckled, “Fine, I’ll go to the store and get some more. I have a feeling you’re gonna need it.”

She revved the engine, and spent the few minute’s drive into town peacefully listening to the music on the radio, reveling as the wind blew through her hair. She rarely got to drive the car, and she loved it, even though it was for something as mundane as this. She was glad to do something for Dean, to put that rare smile on his face again, that was really only saved for Ben now. She frowned, she never asked Dean, or anyone else for that matter, about what had happened those few weeks ago. All she knew was that Castiel somehow didn’t make it back with them, and Dean thought he was dead, and she only knew that through Sam.

Why couldn’t the Winchesters have some happiness? She never thought they were cursed, but ever since what happened to Castiel-

“Holy shit!” She exclaimed, swerving the car slightly as she caught sight of the very person she was thinking of.

He was a slumped figure sitting at the side of the road, the once clean suit and trench coat was now horribly soiled. His hair stuck up at odd angles, dried blood flaking on his face and stained his once-white shirt. His knees were drawn up, and his head was propped up on his hand that rested on his knee, looking off into space blankly, wearily.

The brakes squealed as she slammed on them, throwing the car into park, and nimbly hopped out of the car. She hurried over to the angel, breathing a sigh of relief as his eyes alighted upon her and he straightened, “Where the hell have you been?! We were worried **sick** about you.”

He took a deep breath and frowned, “I don’t…exactly…know. Zachariah and I fought, I escaped, there was a lot of pain, and then I appeared on the side of the road somewhere outside Indiana.” He made no protest as she grabbed his arm and pulled him to the car, buckling him in safely.

“So how did you get all the way **here**?”

“I walked.” He said, as though that were obvious.

She growled, “Didn’t think of picking up a phone?”

“I had lost my cell phone, and I didn’t have any money. Panhandling is illegal, as many other things one can do to get money fast. I was more concerned about getting away from Zachariah and back to Bobby’s.”

“And Zachariah? How come he didn’t get a hold of you by now?”

“He will not be bothering us for a while. How is Dean?”

The easy transition from that cryptic statement to Dean freaked Jo out far more than anything else in a good long while. She cleared her throat, “He wasn’t doing so hot. Not for a while.”

“The baby?” He asked in alarm.

“The…baby…is fine.” She figured Dean would want to tell him the news as soon as she was through throttling the angel, “He’s just missed you. A lot. Like he’ll only sleep if we are around him, he can’t be trusted to be on his own, other than bathroom trips....Sam found that out the hard way. Ben seems to take good care of him though, they have gotten pretty close.”

He sighed in relief, “Good.”

“I’ll have you know, he’s going to kick the shit out of you.”

He watched the trees go by, “I am prepared for that.”

* * *

Castiel hesitated, still sitting in the car as Jo unbuckled her seatbelt. She put a hand on his arm, heart clenching at the sight of his nervous expression, “It’s going to be okay, he just really missed you. He thought you were dead, Cas. He might leave off kicking your ass for at least a couple days.”

“That doesn’t inspire comfort, but thank you.” He looked at the house, sighed, and opened the door.

He looked up in alarm as he heard the door slam shut, breath hitching in his chest as Dean stood there staring at him with wide, green eyes. Ben stood a little behind him, a hand on his belt in sudden shyness. He took a few steps away from the car, eyes trained on Dean, his breathing measuring harder as he stared at him. In turn, Dean took a few steps off the porch, stopping just as his feet touched the ground. A few seconds went by, and like a gun shooting off at the beginning of a race, Dean ran towards him, clutching him so hard his breath knocked out of him.

Castiel didn’t care about his sudden strength that made his bones creak, the tightness in his chest that had been there since he appeared on a road outside of Indiana relaxed so suddenly, it seemed as long he forgot how to breathe. He bit off a sob as his arms wrapped around Dean, holding him close, reveling in the feel of the hunter's heart beating widely against his chest.

He buried his face in Dean's hair, inhaling its scent, of gun oil and fruity shampoo. He rubbed his back, feeling Dean shuddering against him, the hot splash of tears against his neck. Dean pulled back, and smacked his arm.

Hard.

“Don’t you **ever** do that to me again, you hear me?!” He pointed at him with a shaking finger, “You don’t go off alone. Ever. You no longer have that luxury, you understand?”

He mutely nodded his head, and as Dean pulled back to smack him again, he grabbed his hand and threaded their fingers together, “I promise, I won’t frighten you again.”

“That’s not what I-” Cas kissed him to shut him up, Dean knew that, but he didn’t exactly care. He melted into his embrace, pulling back as he heard Sam’s throat clearing behind him. He didn’t look at his brother however, but gazed into the angel’s beautiful blue eyes, “Where have you been? You smell like cow patties, car exhaust, and…”

“Yeah... I fell in a ditch. It wasn’t pleasant.”

“Let’s get you cleaned up; I’m sure you can fit in my old clothes.”

* * *

“This isn’t what I thought we’d be doing after your shower,” Dean groused lightly as he picked up the trench coat in between his thumb and forefinger, dropping it into the washer. He didn’t really think it could be saved, but he owed it to the piece of clothing to at least clean it before they put it out of its misery.

Castiel leaned a hip against the dryer, looking almost at home in Dean’s old clothing. He shoved the rest of the laundry into the washer and grabbed the ange's hand, “I’ve got something to show you.” Castiel frowned in question, but followed his lead into their room.

Dean settled beside him, looking rather nervous, “Okay, so you saw the last picture of the baby right?” At Castiel’s nod, Dean blew out a breath, “See what you make of this.”

He frowned, but took the picture anyway, looking it over thoughtfully. He stared at the picture for a few minutes, and it dropped from nerveless fingers as he realized what exactly he was seeing.

Dean picked up the picture and set it on the table next to the bed, “I guess one of them was hiding behind the other the last time the doctor took a picture of them. They’re identical, but we don’t know the gender yet.”

“Two?”

“Is that bad?”

Castiel shook his head emphatically, cupping Dean's face in between his hands, “This is…so wonderful, Dean. How this is possible, I have no idea, but I couldn’t be happier about this.” He brushed their lips together, “How have you been feeling?”

Dean pulled back, “Not too good, Cas.” He stood and paced, willing the excess energy away before he did something stupid, like beat the hell out of him, “I was so mad when you left the car. We didn’t know exactly what we were walking into, but you decided to go all ‘Riggs’ and went there all guns-a-blazing. We were supposed to go in together, especially since Zachariah was there. What were you thinking?”

He pursed his lips, “I was thinking of getting Ben out of there. I was thinking only of protecting you, our child, Ben and his mother. Unfortunately I couldn’t help her, but at least I got the rest of you out of there safely. Would you have done things differently, had you been me?”

“Oh don’t play that card with me.”

“I **will** play that card with you, Dean,” He slowly stood from the bed, and got into Dean’s space, forcing him to look Castiel in the eye, “I have been on this Earth far longer than you realize, I know what is at stake. You are right, I didn’t know exactly what I was going into, and that was my fault. Should I have waited for you? No. Should I have flown us there? No, for I do not know how that would have affected you or the baby…babies. I did the only thing I thought I could do, and I’m not going to be sorry for it.” He gripped the sides of Dean's neck gently, and exhaled through his nose, “I am sorry for hurting you. That is the only thing that I regret, is putting you through that.”

A tear dripped down the hunter's face, “You scared the hell out of me, Cas. I never felt about **anyone** like I feel about you. All the words that I’ve wanted to say to you, how I feel, burn in my throat to the point that I really don’t know what to say without it sounding forced. That feeling? Doesn’t compare to the one where I thought I lost you. I thought I lost my chance, and we probably did all of this ass-backwards, but I don’t care.” She broke away from the angel and hugged himself, “I love you. So damn much that I don’t really know how to function without you, and that’s what terrifies me, ‘cause there is going to come a day when you won’t come back, no matter what I want.”

Castiel opened his mouth to deny, but was silenced as the hunter put a finger to his lips, “Just shut up before I lose my nerve, because I have to get this out.” Dean gulped, “Everyone I love, everyone I feel that for? Has died Cas, horribly; and without any shred of mercy.” He nodded, looking away, “So I’m giving you an out. I can take care of myself, take care of Ben and the twins, and you won’t get hurt. We could just be friends, and I can be okay with that, knowing that you will be okay and that I have some reminder of what we could have had.”

“Dean-” the angel grabbed his upper arms firmly, “I don’t want to be friends. I don’t care what it takes to prove it to you, but I won’t leave you easily-”

“God, Cas,” he said wearily, “Everyone always leaves-”

He put his hand over Dean's mouth, “You said your piece, now I will say mine. I will not leave you easily Dean, because no one that loves you really does. That is why they leave this plane the way they do, because they **cannot** leave you. I will not be happy with just being your friend, Dean, because that ache you feel? That burning? It’s the same way that I feel, that I felt long before I pulled you out of Hell. I will keep feeling that, when I’m with you, or when we are apart. The only thing I thought about when I left Zachariah, was how much I needed to see you, to touch you, to hear your voice; **anything** , just to be with you. I love you, will always love you.”

Dean sniffed, “I think we won an Emmy.”

Cas rolled his eyes, and pulled him closer, “Don’t ever give me an ‘out’ like that ever again. You are stuck with me, whether you like it or not.”

Dean frowned, but said nothing at the ominous sound of that statement. Castiel sighed, if he had it his way, Dean would never know what he had to do to get to him, but, he didn’t exactly know how to keep that secret from the hunter for very long. His head and wings ached; he knew he had made a grave error in judgment by turning his back on Zachariah, the pain Castiel had felt as the angel ripped a large chunk of his grace from him was indescribable. He wasn’t as strong as he was before confronting Zachariah, and since being cast out of Heaven before that, it wasn’t saying much. He was no longer an angel, he wasn’t fully human, he no longer knew **what** he was.

Before, he rode the body he inhabited like a passenger looking outside a car, nothing touched him, he had felt so isolated save for the occasional touches he gave Dean. Now he could feel every shaky breath, the rush of the blood through his veins, the stretching of his muscles. He felt hungry, tired, sad, happy, aroused; everything was so new and yet so familiar. He didn’t have the time that everyone else was given to grow into his skin, into this body. He wanted to feel anything other than awe, and terror, but being with Dean always seemed to quiet the negative feelings he felt.

Dean's presence permeated the room with warmth and light, he breathed in his scent of sweetness and the smell that was just Dean, no matter what body he was living in. His soft hair tickled his nose, his body easily folded into Cas' own, so slim and frail. He felt Dean's heart beating wildly against his chest like a small bird’s, his breath puffing against Cas' neck, those slim arms wrapping around his waist, and he prayed. He prayed like he never had before, for himself, for Dean, for their unborn children, for everyone currently living in Bobby’s home. He hoped with all his mind, body and soul that someone, his Father, was listening. He buried his face into Dean's hair, stealing some peace that wrapped around him, and breathed into his ear, and made him the only promise Castiel could make, “I will never leave you willingly, I will stay, right here, with you. I love you.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The months flew by as they prepared....

Chapter Four

The months flew by as they prepared for the babies; Bobby took the time to whip Castiel and Sam into fixing up the nursery, while Jo and Ellen helped Dean decorate. They all waited for the day when they were going to be told exactly what gender the twins were going to be, and Dean had to admit, he was anxious for the news just as much as everyone else. He was starting to entertain thoughts on what he would have; a girl would be nice, but then there was the frightening prospect of puberty, and there was no way he was going to survive **that** without going insane.

He had asked Castiel, but he wasn’t any help on the subject, saying something about just being glad they were alive and healthy, it didn’t matter to him what gender they were. Sam voiced that it would be great to have one of each, until Dean mentioned the ‘terrible tweens’, then paled and hurried out of the room. Ellen said that it would serve her and Castiel right to have twin girls, they needed some feminine influence. When Dean gestured at his new body at that comment, it was clear that they just assumed he would revert back to his old body. Although how that could happen, Dean wasn’t entirely sure.

The conversation died a miserable death after that. The rest of the moving around went quietly; Dean fixed Ben lunch and watched movies with the little boy for the rest of the afternoon, after being told that under no circumstances was he allowed to help. Jo and Ellen had left quickly, decided that going on a job would be far better than trying to get Dean back into the baby-mood.

* * *

“So is everything going alright?” Sam grunted as they lifted a dilapidated dresser to carry out into the hallway.

Castiel frowned, “Why do you ask?”

Sam shrugged, as well as he could while carrying a big piece of furniture like they were, “I don’t know. You’ve just been really quiet, looking a little…strained. I guess you don’t really need to sleep, so I was wondering if it was something else.”

Castiel’s lips thinned, “I have slept…on occasion. The experience was rather worrisome.” He let the younger man ruminate on his reply as they finagled the furniture out in the yard where a pail of paint was waiting. There wasn’t any need to throw a perfectly good piece of furniture out when all it needed was some minor refurbishing.

Sam set his side down with a grunt, straightening while rubbing at his neck, “I don’t get it. You never used to have to sleep or eat, what’s changed?”

“I think I have been getting weaker the longer I am cut off from Heaven. Ever since…Ever since I came back from Indiana, I have been feeling more and more as time goes on.”

“Feeling more,” Sam repeated.

The angel frowned, “It is hard to describe, you humans have dealt with your emotions all of your lives, it is entirely different for me. Before I was punished, it was as if I felt everything that my vessel did; only muted. Very recently, the body’s needs are stronger, and it’s getting much harder to fight the urges.” He glared at Sam as he snorted, “This isn’t funny Sam.”

“I know. It’s just…hearing you talking about your body’s urges are both cringe-worthy and hilarious.” He wiped his face with a large hand, “I hope you aren’t telling me you fell.”

“No,” Castiel folded his arms, looking out into the junkyard, “Zachariah injured me, far more than I had thought. I am much weaker than before, although I believe it first started when I fully rebelled. I believe he was trying to force me to fall…or kill me.” He ran his hands through his hair wearily, “I honestly didn’t think he would do something like this, that any of them would condone such misuse of their power, and that so many have fallen in line with Zachariah. How can they not see that what they are doing is madness?” He frowned, “I guess I never had reason before to fear anything from my brethren, although looking back, I cannot believe I was so naïve.”

The angel was startled slightly as Sam’s hand gripped his shoulder, “No one wants to believe ill of their family, Cas.” The tentative silence was broken as Sam queried quietly, “Are you going to tell Dean?”

Castiel looked down, “I do not wish to cause him anymore stress, especially in his present condition. You know what he will do.”

Sam nodded, “Blame himself.”

“Exactly. Sam, I-” Castiel sighed, “I would ask that you do not mention this, at all, to Dean. I don’t want anything to cause harm to him or the children. Not for anything.”

Sam clenched his teeth and looked away, “Dude, you **know** how much you’re asking of me. After everything, hell, last year-”

“I know.” Suddenly, Castiel stood in front of him, in his personal space, like he used to do to Dean. The little guy wasn’t as powerless as he thought; if he could intimidate someone the size and strength of the younger Winchester brother. “I am not promising that this will be easy, Sam. But what you don’t understand, is the fragile condition that he is in.”

He shrugged, “He’s pregnant. Big deal.”

Castiel bit down a surge of anger, “Stress has a major effect on pregnant women, Sam, more than you know. It is rare enough that a mortal conceives an angel’s child. Human bodies are so…delicate. Let alone the mortality rate of mortal infants-”

“You’re afraid that Dean might miscarry,” Sam realized.

“That is why I ask you to keep this between us, for now.”

“But you got to know that everything is going to be okay, right?”

Castiel slumped, “I don’t know. I don’t exactly have all the answers, I-fear now. I’m concerned; I only want Dean and…our… children to be okay, happy, and healthy. I don’t-can’t care about myself right now.”

Sam leaned over slightly, “I promise I won’t say anything, man. No matter how I acted before, I don’t want to hurt Dean.”

Castiel exhaled in relief, “Thank you.” He felt better confiding in Sam, even though he wasn’t entirely certain that the young man was going to keep said promise. He supposed it was paranoia due to lack of sleep that was bothering him, or the after effects of the past week, he couldn’t help feeling on edge.

* * *

The very next day, they were told that Dean was having identical twin boys, both very healthy and surprisingly more advanced in their stage of development compared to other multiple birth pregnancies. Castiel hurried them out of there hastily, if their twins were so superior that the doctor’s were noticing, he wasn’t about to take any chances with their welfare.

They broke the news to their little family as soon as they got back. Castiel was surprised as money started changing hands. “What the-you guys were betting?” Dean exclaimed, shaking his head in disappointment at Sam, “And already corrupting a minor. I’m surprised at you, Sammy.”

“I wouldn’t complain,” Ben said, handing over a wad of bills to Dean, “You won the pot.”

Castiel’s eyes widened, turning to Dean, he said incredulously, “You **gambled** on our children?”

Dean smiled sheepishly, “What? It didn’t hurt anyone.”

“Speak for yourself,” Sam groused, “I’m out thirty bucks.”

* * *

Castiel watched as Dean stood in front of a wall in the nursery, one arm resting on his significantly convex belly, the other hand tapping a few paint samples against his lips contemplatively. On the wall in front of the hunter were a couple swipes of paint, ranging from various shades of yellow, to blue. Castiel cocked his head, he didn’t understand why the color was so important, but if that was what was keeping Dean sane during his sabbatical from hunting, then he was all for it.

“What do you think?”

Cas walked into the room, wrapping his arms around Dean's shorter form, hands on his belly, “You have three of each kind up there, is there a difference?” The angel hid a grin in hia hair at his scoff.

“Of course there is a difference!” Dean paused, cocking his head to the side, “At least that’s what Jo tells me. I can’t really tell.” He pouted, “Blue? But then, they’re boys, there’s going to be a lot of blue. And when was blue the staple color for gender?”

“Blue is a soothing color. I believe that is why they use it in hospital rooms.”

Dean’s lips pursed, “No blue then, they’re Winchesters; they are going to see a lot of hospital rooms.”

Castiel sighed, “Dean-”

“Hey I’m just being realistic here, Cas. I’ve been in the hospital at least…well a lot in the past few years.”

“You are a hunter, Dean. You are bound to end up in the hospital more often than normal people.”

“You saying I’m not normal?”

“You are the most abnormal person I have ever pulled out of perdition.”

“I’m the **only** person you pulled out of perdition.” Dean grumbled, “Enough screwing around! We gotta get this room done, according to the docs, I could drop anytime now.” She was in her seventh month, and according to the doctors, he could very well give birth at any time. Women who were pregnant with twins or more, the doctor’s explained, could give birth early without any worry. The fact that their children were highly developed meant that at any time, Dean and Castiel would have identical twin boys.

To say that Castiel was excited was like saying the grass was green, or the Earth revolved around the sun.

“Some people would call this ‘nesting’.”

“Yeah? Well, if **some people** want to sleep in bed anytime soon, they’d shut their damn yap and frickin’ help. Now what color, green, yellow or blue?”

* * *

“What do you **mean** they don’t have any icee’s? That’s not fair!”

“You really shouldn’t have so much sugar, Dean, it’s bad for you.”

Ben looked at Castiel in utter horror, “Dude, you didn’t just say that.”

Dean folded her arms over his belly and glared daggers at the angel, “Well, the **babies** want an Icee and hot sauce. So that’s what they are going to get.”

“Oh god, no more hot sauce!” Sam slumped on the table.

“Oh shut up, it’s not like I’m eating a burrito, or greasy fries or anything. I’m freakin’ hot, I want something cold to drink, ‘cause I can’t have beer, and for some reason they like hot sauce. It’s not like I’m going to deny them what little joy they can have until they are old enough to have pie.”

“They are going to end up becoming hyper-active.”

Dean opened hia mouth to argue once more; instead he clutched her belly and looked down in amazement. He gasped, “Oh my god.”

Sam jumped as Castiel stiffened, dropping his coffee mug in shock, staring at Dean’s protruding stomach. He hurried to the hunter's side, gently laying his hand over Dean’s, and gasped as well, “Oh, Dean.” Sam frowned at the awed tone they were using, growing more concerned as Dean looked up at the angel with watery eyes, “I didn’t think they could do that.”

“Do what?!” Sam exclaimed.

Castiel gulped and turned to the younger man, tears in his eyes, “They are communicating with us. They-They can’t form words as of yet but…We can feel them.”

Dean clapped a hand to his mouth, his breathing a little fast, “They’re so…Oh, Cas!”

The angel rested his forehead against Dean’s, a blinding smile on his face. Dean waved a hand at Ben, “Come here, you gotta feel this.”

Ben cautiously walked up to the pair, feeling very unsure of his place by their side. As he drew close, Dean took his hand and placed it on his stomach. Castiel rested his hand on his small shoulder, squeezing gently in understanding. The instant Ben's hand touched him, a feeling of pure joy engulfed him; it felt like the one time he went to Disneyland, and rode every single ride, flying through the air in wild abandon. It felt like his eighth birthday party, one of the best days of his life. It felt like every good day, every great moment, and every fantastic second he could possibly remember all rolled up into one glorious ball of adoration. He gasped in shock; he didn’t believe that they would actually want to connect with him.

He had felt so out of place at Bobby’s; He understood Dean focusing on the angel, and the arrival of the babies, but he couldn’t help feeling like the odd person out. Sam was Dean’s younger brother, Bobby the father-figure, Ellen the mother-figure, Jo the sister; they all had ties that bound them together as a tightly knit family. Ben was…the illegitimate son of a hunter that was turned into a woman. Supposedly. Ben wasn’t quite entirely sure about it, according to his mother; she had been with another man, a biker, so he wasn’t entirely sure who his father was.

He wasn’t sure how he fit into the group.

He slid his hand away, so many things running through his head, and after everything that happened, he wanted to make sure he didn’t start bawling like a baby in front of these people. He looked up, Dean was smiling, eyes turned inward to whatever it was they were conveying to the hunter. He was half expecting the angel doing the same thing, but he was very wrong as he saw the bright blue eyes trained on him. Ben was startled; the emotion he could see in his eyes was not of pity, but sorrow, and sympathy.

He quickly looked away, the angel made him very uncomfortable, even though he got hurt saving his life. Ben wasn’t exactly sure what to make of him, and so decided to just stay away from him altogether, it wouldn’t do for him to get close to anyone around him, he was sure they were just keeping him around to make sure no one else died.

He excused himself to his room, running up the stairs and shutting the door behind him.

* * *

Castiel’s watched as Ben went upstairs, an unfamiliar tight feeling in his chest at the look that resided in the youngster’s eyes just before he escaped the kitchen. He caught Dean’s eyes and intoned quietly, “You should eat something; I am going to have a word with Ben.”

Dean’s awed expression instantly dissolved into one of guilt, “I’m such an ass. He loses his ma, his whole life, and we haven’t even-”

“Let me do this. Please.”

It was the ‘please’ that made Dean's decision, even though he wanted so badly to connect with Ben, it may end blowing up in his face. He was trying so hard to live up to Dean’s expectations, which there were none, that the boy wouldn’t so much as mention anything about that day, or god forbid, show any kind of emotion.

He trusted that Castiel could get through to him, he was outside of the situation and the boy didn’t have to put up any fronts in the angel’s presence. Castiel was very rough around the edges, but he was very understanding and caring when he needed to be. If the angel was going to be in Dean’s life, then the discord between them needed to be resolved.

Dean nodded, “Go easy on him. He’s ten.”

“I wouldn’t frighten a child needlessly.”

“I would feel better if you didn’t tack on the ‘needlessly’.”

Castiel kissed him quickly on the lips and went upstairs, footsteps quiet on the rug outside the boy’s room. He angled his head slightly, hearing nothing through the door. He took a breath, and knocked gently on the door, opening it slowly to give Ben some time to tell him to leave or not.

The room was dark, curtains drawn and slightly chilly. He surveyed the room, spartan as it was, his eyes falling on a little lump in the middle of the bed pushed against the wall. His back was facing the angel, skinny legs curled up and his arms wrapped around his frail torso. Castiel knew this as the fetal position, not just from his reading about Dean’s pregnancy, but from his experience with human nature. He understood the appeal, it was a comforting gesture when one was alone, just like when Dean thought no one was looking; he would cross his arms and sway back and forth unconsciously.

A sign he wasn’t held much as a child.

Castiel mourned for Ben, not only because he had lost his mother, his rock, his security; but because he was so young. It had been the same way for Dean. So much loss, in so short of a time, this was the reason why Dean had turned a blind eye to his brothers’ machinations in the first place; why stand in the way of a hurtling train?

He settled on the side of the bed, reaching over and set his hand on the boy’s upper arm, “Ben? I wish to speak with you, if that is acceptable.”

Ben sniffled wetly, croaking, “Why?”

“Because you are in pain, and I would like to relieve it.” The room grew silent after Castiel said this, and he watched Ben’s big brown eyes steadily well up with tears. He hated seeing the young boy looking so defeated, and he felt so ashamed of his brothers and sisters that they could knowingly do so much harm to someone so innocent. He listened to his instincts, letting his hand card through the dark hair, and knew he was getting somewhere as Ben rolled over to face him.

His lower lip trembled slightly as he looked up from the pillow at the angel, “Why?”

Castiel’s head tilted in confusion, “Why would I want to relieve your pain?”

Ben slowly nodded. Castiel smiled gently, “Because you are Ben, you are pure and innocent in all of this.” Castiel sighed, looking out the window, “This isn’t your war to fight, Ben. It never was, even though you are the next in bloodline to be Michael’s vessel. If I could have stopped what happened earlier, I would. It wasn’t-isn’t- right for a child to lose their loved ones so brutally, no matter the reasoning behind it.” He noticed out of the corner of his eye as Ben shifted a little closer to him.

Ben wiped at his eyes, “So…I’m really Dean’s kid?”

Castiel faced him, “Yes, you are. Zachariah would not have contacted you otherwise. Is that why you have been feeling so out of place?”

Ben frowned, “How’d you know that?”

Castiel grinned wryly, “Dean would say it was my ‘angel-mojo’, but I can see it in you, every time you look at Dean or anyone else. You and Dean seem to think you are both impenetrable, that you can give nothing away and nothing can hurt you, but you would be wrong in that assumption. I have been there myself, though, feeling very out of place.”

Ben snorted, “Yeah, whatever.”

“It’s true,” Castiel defended, “I did not understand humans before I met Dean, everything I did, everything I said, seemed to set me further apart from everyone. I wanted to…connect with those around me as effortlessly as Dean did. I was the odd man out.”

Ben sat up and leaned tentatively against Castiel, resting his head on his shoulder. Castiel’s heart warmed as Ben relaxed against him, cautiously he put his arm around the small boy, “I know it does not seem so now, but you have a place, you will always have a place. You are what completes this family, Ben. I am thankful that you came to us, even though the circumstances are unfair.”

Ben buried his head in his shoulder, hugging the angel unexpectedly, and after a few moments hesitation, Castiel reciprocated. He rubbed his back, and after a few moments, Ben looked up at him, “Does this mean I have to call you ‘dad’?”

Castiel chuckled, “You may call me whatever you like Ben.”

* * *

“We should start thinking about names,” Dean mentioned as they walked down the baby aisle in the local Wal-Mart near Bobby’s house. They had to pick up a few things, considering they were getting closer to Dean’s due date. Castiel was a little worried about being outside of the house, due to the wards, but he was sure that Zachariah wouldn’t think of doing anything to them in public. Castiel set the magazine he was perusing back on the shelf; he wasn’t in the mood to thumb through it, turning towards Dean as she tossed a pack of pacifiers into the cart. He glanced at them; he hoped they were the hospital approved kind, he felt very leery of the others. Dean grinned, “Whatcha got?”

He continued walking down the aisle, saying quietly, “I was thinking of…James and Samuel.”

“James?”

“Yes,” Castiel said quietly, “I wanted to…honor him.” They had a moment of silence for the man that sacrificed himself; Castiel regretted entering into his daughter’s body, even if it was necessary. He didn’t realize he looked down at the floor in shame until his fingers lifted the angel's jaw.

Dean smiled, “I like it. Both of them actually, Sam would get a kick out of it.”

“What were the names you thought of?” He asked, quickly changing the subject.

Dean looked away, focusing his attention on what looked to be a breast-pump before quickly shoving it back on the shelf, blushing, “Well, I’ve always liked the name Alexander. I know it’s long and kind of a mouthful for a kid, but-”

“It’s a beautiful name. It means ‘man’s defender’.”

He shrugged, “Figured we could call him Alex or Xander for short. Anyway, I like that, and…Robert. You know, after Bobby…” She shifted, rubbing her belly, “I don’t know, I just-”

“No, Dean,” Castiel took her hand in his, “I like the name, too. So now we have four names that we like. How are we to choose?”

“How about I name one, Alexander Robert and you name the other, James Samuel? That way we both get what we want, and they’ll have middle names.”

Castiel nodded, “I am happy with that.” He frowned as Dean stood up, groaning a little in pain with a hand on his lower back, “Dean, are you-”

He froze and all the color drained from his face, “Oh no-”

Castiel’s eyes snapped to where he was staring in utter horror, “Dean, what’s wrong?” At the end of the aisle were two men, in plain dress, but something about them seemed…off. He knew them to be angels, and although he was glad that the twins warned them of their presence, he knew it would not save them if the angels truly wanted to take them.

Dean turned around, looking over his shoulder, his eyes suddenly widening, “Cas, behind you!” He pulled his gun out of his purse, aiming it at the figure behind the angel.

Castiel’s head tilted in confusion as to why Dean thought that a gun would protect them from the Host, frowning as he turned to look, “Dean-”

It happened so fast, one minute he was standing in front of Dean in the baby section of Wal-Mart, and the next he was in an open field struggling from Zachariah’s grip.

* * *

“I have had just about enough of this,” Zachariah grated out as Castiel pushed him away. In a flash, Castiel was in the air, the silver glint of Zachariah’s sword the only thing he saw as he flipped over the older vessel. He whirled on the archangel, his own sword flashing in the moonlight. He lunged at him, swinging it with all his might at the other angel’s head, growling as he only ended up slicing at the air. He grunted as the other angel tackled him, punching him swiftly in his sides, where he knew the floating ribs to be. He cried out, falling to his knee, tasting blood in his mouth.

He shoved the butt of the sword into Zachriah’s knee, listening to the sickening crack, and swiftly spun the heavy metal, sweeping his feet out from under him. His foot connected to Castiel’s wrist, snapping it, his sword spinning into the darkness of the field. He watched; mourning the loss of the sword like it was more than just a weapon to him, but the last tie to his brethren.

He blocked the kicks and punches as best as he could, only a few connected, but it was enough to daze him, “Why are you doing this? This is madness!”

“You think you can stop the Apocalypse?” He back-handed the smaller angel, “You are nothing, an insect compared to the might of Heaven!” He chuckled, holding his sword up, preparing to stab him, “You will not thwart our plans, weakling!”

“I am only what **you** have done to me,” He sighed, scooting away, only to be followed by the other angel, “I beseech you, brother, stop this. This will not end well, for any of us, you **know** that. Dean will never say yes to Michael-”

“-Unless I cut down every single person that he cares for.” He interrupted, “The children you have fathered? They will be easily swayed to do our bidding; it’s in their make-up, part angel you see. Dean will be unable to deny them, and they will have no memory of their parents once we are done with them. Then, then we will have the power and glory on our side, **real** soldiers that won’t question our orders.” He sneered down at the smaller man, “You, I was proud of. You were the one to raise him from Hell; the others did not believe you could handle being his guardian, to be honored with such an important task, but I? I supported you.” He paused, in his slow pursuit of Castiel. His drawn face melting into that of compassion, smiling he said quietly, “Tell you what? You come back to us, convince Dean to accept Michael, and I won’t destroy you. I’ll even let you keep the twins safe until we have need of them.”

“You will not touch them. Dean will know what you have done. They will **all** hunt you down until you kneel at Dean’s feet.” Castiel bit out, making no reaction as his hand fell upon the handle of his blade, hidden in the brush beneath him. He just had to keep him talking, keep him distracted until Zachariah gave him an opportunity to attack. He learned the lessons that Dean had taught him well; Dean needed something to do while being cooped up at Bobby’s, and Castiel needed some way to protect himself now that he was weaker.

The archangel clicked his tongue at him, “Now you know when you come back to the fold, you will not be allowed to speak to me in that manner.”

“I will **never** join you.” With the speed of which he could not explain, he lunged and plunged the sword as far as it would go into the archangel’s gullet. He clenched his eyes shut, holding onto the sword as tight as he could as light spewed forth from Zachariah’s mouth and eyes. He screamed in unbearable pain, as he severed his only link to his former life, the sword disappearing from his grip.

He fell to his knees, clutching his burned hand close to his chest, and panted. He started shivering as the adrenaline from his close brush with death faded, the cold air leeched through his thin shirt and jeans. He looked around himself, there weren’t any landmarks to inform him of where he was, and there was no way of contacting Dean. He was worried about the hunter, about what the angels might have done to him; Castiel was desperate to see to his safety.

Before he had the chance to start walking in some aimless direction in hopes of finding his way back to Bobby’s, he heard the sound of wings beating. Looking up, he gasped, “Anna.”

She was beautiful, glowing ethereally in the moonlight; he guessed he had never noticed before. He wondered if he looked the same before Zachariah weakened him. She smiled, “Castiel.” She made a slight move toward him, frowning as he scooted away from her, body language screaming despair, “Brother, what is wrong?”

“This is where you punish me. I killed our own; we struck those down for doing less in the past-”

“Your transgressions do not compare to his, Castiel. You killed one, to save us all.” This time, she did not give him a chance to scramble away, kneeling in front of him, “You have restored me to my rightful command of the garrison. There are no others, save Gabriel, to take my place. Our brothers would feel Zachariah dying, and if they wanted to fight, they would have appeared long before now.”

Castiel shook his head, “What now? Where do we go from here, what am I to do?”

“You will be punished, befitting your crime.”

The two looked up, Castiel’s gut clenching in dread as Gabriel stood before them not too far away. His face gave nothing away, his body language casual as he leaned against a tree. Castiel gulped, “Gabriel.”

The other nodded at them, exhaling through his nose as he pushed away from the trunk of the tree. The leaves crunched under his boots as he approached him, “I gotta say, I’m pretty surprised you were able to get the drop on Zach like that. Of course, he always had the bad habit to monologue whenever he got the chance.” He sighed as he kneeled in front of Castiel, “So this is how it’s going to be, huh? You really want to save this place? What’s here worth saving, Cas?”

“Everything,” Castiel breathed, “All of it. There is so much good left in this world, even though you can’t see it right now; all the pain, all the fighting, makes even the smallest of good deeds shine that much brighter. Please Gabriel, give this world a chance.” He shifted closer to the archangel, he no longer cared if it was considered begging in the other’s eyes, “I have a family now, they deserve a chance to live. I cannot tell you what to do with me, but for the sake of my family, do not stand in the way of stopping the Apocalypse.”

Gabriel studied him, longer than was comfortable, before shrugging, “I guess you’re right. It’s not like our brethren would allow candy and porn to reside in Paradise… that and those little slider things from that fast food place.” He tilted his eyes, eyes never leaving Castiel’s, “But you do know you have to be punished for killing one of us, don’t you, Brother?”

Castiel looked down at the ground; he knew that his hand wasn’t enough of a punishment for the murder of an qa1archangel, “Yes.” He whispered. He fervently hoped that Dean and their children would be spared.

Gabriel shook his head and sighed again, “Anna.” He stood, and the angel frowned before standing next to him. He stared at Castiel one more time before saying harshly, “I will let you decide what becomes of him. Join me when you have finished with him.” In the next second he disappeared. Castiel straightened, he had never heard of an archangel passing judgment of so heinous a crime off onto another angel, even if she was high in rank.

She turned to stare him down, her beauty quickly becoming terrifying, her grace almost breaking through the thin veil of her vessel, “For the destruction of one of our brethren, I sentence you, Castiel, to revoke your grace, and to live out your life as a mortal. You will be human, and tied to your vessel, only if and when **we** decide, will you be allowed to take your place in Heaven.” She sighed, her grace reeled back in, her visage melting in kindness, “Do not fear, brother, I will continue to watch over you and yours as often as I am able. We cannot afford to let Dean Winchester out of our sight.”

Castiel closed his eyes as she reached out to him, seeing red as her grace shone like a beacon, feeling a slight tugging sensation as he took what was left of his grace. He thought he would feel despair, fear, something, from being cut off from the Host. All he could feel though; was peace, relief. The pain, remorse for wanting something that no angel should ever want for themselves, melted away.

He was free.

He sighed, opening his eyes again as she pulled back, his eyes glistening in unshed tears, “Thank you.”

She smiled, her familial love for him shining brightly through her eyes, “You are my brother, Castiel. I could never cause you undue pain, you have experienced it enough as it is. Although, humans…they experience so much. Will you be able to cope?”

“I would do anything if it means I can be with Dean, Anna.” There was no doubt in his mind that he could do so, he no longer feared being human. The only thing he feared was how Dean would take the news, but he would have to ‘cross that bridge when he came to it’, as Sam would say.

She brushed his temple, “So brave.” She dropped her hand and nodded once, “Time to get you to the hospital. Dean is giving birth.”

* * *

Castiel marched as fast as he could to Dean’s delivery room, slumping slightly against the frame as he witnessed Dean pacing the room in agitation. He was glad to see that he wasn’t harmed, just really agitated, every now and then stopping to rub his belly. The hunter kept looking out the window, then the clock, then at Sam, “Are you sure Bobby hasn’t called yet? Check your phone again.”

Sam sighed, holding up the phone, “I already have, last time I called; he was driving down the dirt road beside the house. Don’t worry Dean, he’s going to be fine, he’s going to find Cas, and they’ll get here in time, I promise.” He sounded as if it was the hundredth time he had to repeat himself. As if Dean would be placated that way.

“I’m here.”

Dean snapped his attention to the door, the agitation that was rolling off of him in waves melted into relief, “ Cas.” They met each other in the middle of the room, their arms wrapping tightly around the other. He buried his face in Castiel's chest, “God, Cas, I was so worried! Are you okay? What did he want?”

Castiel brushed away a lock of Dean's hair, “It does not matter right now. We will talk of it later, right now you need to relax for our children. Where’s Ben?” A trill of fear for the young boy clenching his chest.

“I gave him some money to raid the vending machine; we’re going to be here for a while.” Sam said, dialing Bobby’s number, “I’m going to call him, let him know that Cas is here.”

Ben took that moment to step through the door, the snacks falling forgotten from his fingers as he stared at Cas. Without breaking stride, he stepped over the brightly wrapped packages and hugged as much of Cas as he could. Dean moved back, smiling fondly at them as Castiel kneeled down and held the upset boy, crooning softly to him to calm him down.

“Where were you?” Ben asked, voice high with the effort of holding back sobs.

Castiel brushed his hand through the boy’s hair, looking him in the eye, “I had to…talk to one of my brother’s. I won’t be leaving again anytime soon.” He looked at Dean over Ben’s shoulder, referring to her more than the child that he was holding. He was relieved as Dean just nodded his head at him in reply.

Ben nodded, “Okay. They were worried, you know.” He straightened, squaring his shoulders and looking at him sternly, “You shouldn’t go anywhere without any back up. That’s a rookie move, you’re better than that.”

Castiel chuckled, “I will be sure to remember that.” They straightened, and Castile turned to the hunter, “Anna said you were ready-”

Dean pursed his lips, “Yeah, speaking of,” He tapped a finger on his protuding belly, “I gotta have a c-section. There’s **no way** I’m doing it the other way.” He shivered at the thought, but Castiel could tell that he was nervous about it anyway.

“I’ll be here with you the entire time, Dean. You have nothing to fear, women have children everyday just like this. You are in good hands.” He brushed a lock of hair behind his ear, kissing him gently on the forehead.

“Cas,” Dean said, frowning, “The hell happened to your hand? Is it-it’s **burned**!” He held it gingerly between his hands, and although he was being as careful as he could, the pain was excruciating. Not only did it look to be second degree burns, but it was resting in an odd angle, the result of the archangel snapping it.

Castiel gently pulled his hand back, “It’s nothing, it will heal in time. Do. Not. Worry. About. Me.” He rested his forehead against Dean's, almost having to go cross-eyed to be able to look at him. He breathed an inaudible sigh of relief as the hunter snorted slightly in amusement.

Dean drew a shaky breath, rubbing his belly, “It’s going to be okay, right?”

He pulled Dean into a long, drawn out kiss, feeling the hunter melt against him, “Of course,” He whispered, “The angels are watching over you.” Some part of him knew that Anna was there waiting, and that knowledge warmed him more than anything could at that moment when surrounded by his family.

* * *

Within the hour, Dean had given birth to two healthy identical twin boys. It was the most frightening and most beautiful moment in Castiel’s life, and he had witnessed a lot during his time on Earth. Maybe it was because it was **his** children’s birth he witnessed, or it was because it was the knowledge that the twins were theirs, he wasn’t sure. When Alexander was brought forth into the world with a great lusty cry, threatening to shatter the windows, followed by his equally squalling brother, he knew a joy that he had thought was lost to him as Anna took the last of his grace.

He wiped his tears of joy hastily as they gave him the freshly cleaned Alexander, Alex as he shall be called until he grew into such a powerful name, his beaming smile the first thing the child saw as it blinked alertly up at him. The nurse who had given him the boy cooed in awe, “I’ve never seen a baby so alert like that before. He’s so sweet!”

He watched as the baby blinked owlishly before closing its eyes and burrowing into Castiel’s warmth. He chuckled softly, already this one was taking after Dean, he could hear the slight muffled snorting. He turned to Dean, moving little Alex in her line of vision, it would be very uncomfortable to hold him just yet, but as soon as he was given the go ahead he would make sure Dean got to hold him as much as he wanted.

Dean looked down upon the baby in utter awe, like he was just now realizing what was happening, “Oh, Cas,” He breathed, “He’s perfect!”

“This is Alex,” Castiel whispered to him. Alex was like a long lost friend to the ex-angel, coming home after a long time away. He recognized the little one as soon as he was born.

Dean laughed thickly, “So you’re the little bugger that kept kicking me in the kidneys, huh? I’ll remember that little guy.”

James was the next to be given to Castiel, already sound asleep, the nurse took Alec, “Poor little guy’s tuckered out.” She said in amusement.

He grinned at the little bundle in his arms, this was the supposed ‘calm’ one of the two, but as soon as Dean went to sleep, he would start his gymnastics. This was the one that sounded like tinkling laughter whenever it would communicate with them. This one was peace, while the other was harmony, he wondered how they were going to be as soon as they started crawling, walking, talking. He watched them in rapt fascination, he was excited to get to know them, and he was concerned at exactly **how** much mischief the two will create. They were Winchester’s after all.

“It’s a pleasure to finally meet you, James. You don’t know how much we wanted to see you.”

* * *

As Castiel walked out to the waiting room, they needed some time to transfer Dean to the room where he was going to be staying in for the next few days until the doctors gave him the release papers, he was surprised to see not only Anna, but Gabriel sitting in the chairs next to their little group.

He wasn’t sure what to do, why they were even there, but as soon as their eyes met and Gabriel smiled brightly, he knew there was a tentative truce. For the time being at least.

Gabriel stood and strode over to the ex-angel, arms swiftly wrapping around him, crowing, “Daddy Cas is here!”

As his voice filled the room, not only their assembled group, but all the other visitors turned to stare at him. His lips thinned in embarrassment, “Thank you, Gabriel.” The archangel stepped back, smile still stretching across his face. Anna was the next to embrace him, saying much quieter, “Congratulations, Castiel. I wish you and your boys the greatest of happiness.”

Sam, Bobby, and Ben stepped up, Ben was nearly vibrating in excitement, “Are they here? Are they okay? When can we see them? How’s Dean doing?”

He chuckled, “Yes, they are here, and they are both as healthy as can be. You can see them in a little bit, and the same goes for Dean. You will all be able to see them soon.”

Sam clapped him on the back, and Bobby shook his hand, “We were worried about you there, earlier. I trust you got everything squared away?”

Castiel nodded solemnly at Dean’s father-figure, “Yes, sir.” He looked at Gabe over Bobby’s shoulder, “There won’t be any late-night disappearances in the future.”

He led them over to the baby nursery, making sure Ben was in the front, so he could see his new brothers. They were in the front row, wrapped in little baby blue blankets and knit caps, already sound asleep, and apparently the best-behaved out of all the infants in the room. Ben’s hands rested on the glass, straining on his tiptoes. Sam took pity on him and lifted him up, resting him on his hip. Ben let him, only because he wanted to see them from a different angle. Bobby motioned Jo and Ellen over as he caught sight of them in the hallway.

Ellen stood beside Castiel, sliding her arm around his shoulders, “So how’s Dean doing?”

He leaned over and whispered, “Dean is fine, just being transferred over to his new room. He’s going to be here for at least three days, he keeps saying he ‘wants to get the hell out of here’.”

Ellen snorted, “This is like a walk in the park considering the last couple times he was in the hospital. So, are your friends going to put the mojo on him and give his old body back?”

Castiel looked at Gabriel out of the corner of his eye, “That will be arranged, but after we leave the hospital.” She nodded in understanding, smiling at the beaming Jo.

He heard a soft gasp, looking over as Sam’s face froze, “James Samuel Winchester.” He looked over at Cas in confusion, and the ex-angel elaborated, “Named after my former vessel and the child’s uncle. I hope you don’t mind. We only finished deciding names when Zachariah attacked.”

“No,” Sam breathed, smiling. “Of course I don’t mind.”

“Alexander Robert Winchester,” Bobby read, “That’s a good strong name.” Castiel was amused at seeing Bobby fighting the urge to puff up with pride.

His gaze reverted back to the twins, contemplating their future, and their lives together.

* * *

Three days came and went in a blur, taking care of Dean and the twins were no easy task. Alex and James were easy, feeding and rocking them to sleep were the best, but changing them was an experience he’d never forget. It was Dean that was the chore; the hunter was fairly agitated that he had to stay in the hospital to heal up, since Gabriel promised to fix Zachariah’s mess. Castiel guessed that he was just getting Dean back for being a major…pain when they first met. They had to keep up the appearances however, the doctors and nurses were sure to notify the police if a woman and her two children disappeared suddenly after just giving birth.

They breathed a collective sigh of relief as Dean walked downstairs the very next morning after a few days in the hospital, one hundred percent pure male. He positively vibrated with exuberance, digging into his breakfast with gusto that made Castiel slightly nauseous. He looked down at Alex, who was single-handed decimating his own breakfast, and shuddered at the thought of how much the little one and his father were alike.

He looked over at Sam, who was feeding James with a little more difficulty than Castiel, James was being a little finicky as of late. Dean’s gaze swung from staring at his…lover to his little brother, chuckling slightly he leaned over and saved Sam from his ordeal, “Here, Sammy. Let me try, sometimes they get kind of fussy.”

Dean leaned back in his chair, settling James in the crook of his arm, and guiding the bottle to his mouth. He took to it easily, giving Alec a run for his money as he sucked down the formula. He grinned as Ben walked in at that moment, “Hey there, buddy. Have a good night?”

Ben blinked, then beamed, “Dean! You’re back!” He hurried up to him, stopping close enough to watch him feeding James, “So, how?”

“Gabriel, he got a good laugh before changing me back. That ass.”

“Dean.” Castiel admonished, gesturing to Ben with his head.

He snorted, “Oh, like he’s not going to hear worse.” He looked over at Ben, and said sternly, “Don’t ever repeat that.” Ben rolled his eyes and sat at the table next to him, stealing a piece of forgotten toast. Dean turned back to Castiel, “How’s your hand?”

“The nurses did a good job of wrapping it. I don’t think they believed my story, though.” His hand was wrapped in a good amount of gauze, and Dean could detect a slight whiff of the burn cream. It wasn’t bothering Alec in any way, as focused as he was on his bottle.

“What was your story?”

Castiel made a face, “Too much lighter fluid on the grill.”

Dean laughed, okay so it wasn’t the best of excuses, but it was purely and utterly Cas, who was unwilling to blatantly lie. He had the sneaking suspicion that Bobby was the one who supplied him with the excuse.

When he told him that he was punished, that he would have to live as a human, it was the best news he heard in a long time. Sure, he blamed himself for letting Castiel fall, no matter how much Castiel protested his involvement, and he had no idea what was in store for them in the future, he had more important things to focus on.

He watched Sam as he started washing the dishes contentedly, as Castiel calmly burped Alex, as Ben kept stealing his food for some odd reason instead of getting it himself, and felt a peace he honestly thought that he would never have. Maybe his mother was right, maybe the angels truly were watching over him. Maybe Castiel was right, that God did, in fact, have a plan. Maybe the Winchesters were no longer cursed.

He no longer cared about ‘maybes’ any longer, he didn’t care that they couldn’t look for God anymore now that Castiel had fallen, he didn’t care how powerful Lucifer was becoming. The fallen angel wasn’t going to take over his little brother, he could see that much now, and he wasn’t going to rip away everything Dean cared for. It seemed that for all intents and purposes, the angels were on their side, though he would be damned if they tried to use the twins for their purposes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone that has read, commented, kudos'd (yeah what of it?), and bookmarked this story. It ws actually the first Supernatural story I had ever done and I'm proud of it. This story was written for a friend, and I hoped she enjoyed it as much as I did reading it. About the pronoun usage, I thank the person that pointed it out to me, as it was something I was wrestling with for a while. There will be a sequel to this story, but when it will be published I have no idea.


End file.
